A Piece Of Cake

I was strolling around in W.H.Smith when I noticed an unusual looking book. It had a black girl on the front; it was all grey and white with ‘A Piece Of Cake’ written in bright pink letters. This type of book falls outside my usual range so I had to be extra weary. I picked it up and read the blurb on the back (I had to make sure it was good, I wasn’t willing to waste £6.99 on a crappy disappointing book!).

It wasn’t crappy. I wasn’t disappointed.

'A Piece of Cake' written by Cupcake Brown is a story of a young girls struggle with growth in a world without parents or any sort of legit form of guidance. I suppose it can be called a Bildungsroman although it’s not fiction. I learnt a few things from it such as what certain drugs are, why they’re used and their repercussions - OK so not the best of things to know but learning is learning. ‘A Piece of Cake’ is a true encounter of Cupcake Brown’s life from age 11 to present. I won’t go into detail but I will give a brief summary.

At age 11 Cupcake Brown found her mum dead in her bedroom. Her mum had had an epileptic seizure and unpleasantly choked on her tongue. From here on in, things seemed to just go downhill. Taken away from their uncle, the only male figure her and her brother Larry knew, Cupcake and Larry were handed over to their biological father Mr Burns. Mr Burns who never paid child support or even saw his kids took them in with the assumption that a large trust fund settlement was waiting for him (somewhere around the amount of $50, 000). When this didn’t prove true he ushered them into a foster home run by a violent woman who was rumoured to have killed two of her other foster kids. With the foster system turning a blind eye, Cup suffered a copious amount of abuse at this foster home and decided her only other (safer) option was to run away. She encounters a lot of different people and is eventually led into the land of drugs, gangs, alcohol and prostitution. We follow her through her encounters for most of the book but what’s interesting is her remarks about God. There are moments in the book where she states that she doesn’t trust, believe or like God, after all, if there was a God why would He let all this happen to her? (I’m sure, if you admit to yourself, there have been times when this thought has crossed our minds...even though we do always revert back eventually.)

There comes a time where Cup is on the brink of death and decides to try this ‘talking to God’ thing. She simply says something along the lines of ‘If you help me, I’ll stop doing this’. Simple. God keeps His side of the bargain so does Cup. Here is just the beginning of her new found relationship with what she sometimes termed the 'higher power'. As the novel progresses she develops a stronger bond with God as he continues to help her through her desperate times of need.

While the book was a great read, there were sections which came across as slightly unrealistic and predictable. For example, there was a continuous section within the book where Cup would pray for something as small as plates and a TV stand and get it within a couple of days. Coincidence? Probably not. I’m sure you’ve heard the term ‘God works in mysterious ways’ but I wouldn’t mind having all my prayers answered within a couple of days, it just never seems to happen like that…

Nonetheless the book opens up an underground world, one I’m sure not many of you reading this have experienced. It isn’t just a drug addict living on the street sort of book but takes you on a roller coaster journey by showing us the good and bad. Her feelings and thoughts are intertwined into the narrative of the story making it a lot easier to understand and is also written in a very simplistic form.

‘A Piece of Cake’ is worth the read if you’re looking for something different. She ends the novel with one of the most inspirational quotes of the book.

“When God knows you’re going to battle, He sends his best warriors”

Enjoy!

So....What Now?

It seems like the issue about Shilpa Shetty has grown into a big debate. Now everyone wants to know about racism. Whenever the media are involved in an issue it suddenly becomes very important. Before the media picked it up, it was not at all cool to talk about the issue. I believe racism of this sort has been around for a very long time, in fact, ever since the process of colonisation but that's for another post.

The future prime minister, poor lad, has been ‘forced’ to speak on the matter. Well, what else can he say other than ‘this is very intolerable, we do not accept racism in this country’…

Well of course that’s how it SHOULD be, but is it?

WE know racism ISNT obsolete. And when I say ‘we’ I mean those who are of the ‘minority’. If you look at the meaning of that word ‘minority’ you will notice that it depicts connotations of ‘small’ , ‘marginal’, ‘alternative’ and they all connote ‘the outsider’. So, as long as the word ‘minority’ is used, those who fall into the ‘minority’ category will always be an outsider (...)

A friend of mine asked how I work in the office I'm currently in. Being the only black person I don’t tend to fit in with the others as much as they do with each other - and that's the truth. Why? It’s definitely NOT my colour but more the culture associated. While I do not have a noticeable Asian or African accent like Shilpa, there are still many cultural differences which tend to distance me from the other people in the office. They are not obvious differences but honestly, they are there. For example in Big Brother, Shilpa was criticised for cooking her chicken to long and Science in an episode before was criticised for cutting the rear end off a chicken. THESE are examples of cultural differences that are not so apparent first hand.

As for Big Brother, the culprits are allegedly bullying Shilpa simply because she has a different accent and name. Yea I’m sure a lot of you have been teased about your name just because it’s different. Either that or you’ve had a few people find it hard to pronounce. I admit, when I was young I use to cringe when they came to my name on the register at school. Now when I tell someone my name they say ‘o that’s an unusual name’ to which I reply ‘not in my country it isn’t’ then add a ‘mate’ if I'm feeling extra cockney.

The point I want to get to here is; are the culprits on Big Brother reflecting the general public? Are they not just saying what most people think?

I was discussing this with work colleagues (why they feel they should discuss it with me I don’t know, I can take a guess though) and one of them pointed this out. He said ‘Well unfortunately, the people in Big Brother reflect the general public’. He may have said it in passing but I picked up on it. He’s right to a certain extent. How many times have Black/Asian people out numbered the White British people in Big Brother? Then think of the proportion of Black/Asian people to White British people in the UK population. The same applies to anything but athletics and hip hop. I am also aware that it's not a simple divide of 'black' and 'white'. Maybe they’re (the Big Brother contestants) being racist but they are expressing their true opinions. They are saying what they think and I appreciate that. Why? Because I would personally prefer someone to tell me they’re racist so that I know what I’m getting myself into rather than make snide comments relating to my race or the culture associated.

So…what now? Because racism is now a cental issue, does that mean something will be done about it?

I don’t think so.

Climate Change Eh?

According to pessimistic environmentalist, the media and the government to a certain extent - we’re all gonna die!

Turn off your lights, turn off your TV’s, wear a jumper, don’t eat chocolates, walk to work do this don’t do that! Moan, moan, moan. Yea I know its all for a good cause but it’s a bit OTT don’t ya think?

So the next trend is now Global Warming (the caps are used to portray authority). Things need to change and they need to change fast, today if possible. Tony Blair was criticised for refusing to give up vacation flights because of global warming - click here to see the article and try to avoid the advert showing an overweight man shaking hair off his hairy chest (if you dont see it, count yourself lucky). So, he’s being criticised for not conforming to what may be the majority view and has been dubbed a hypocrite because of it. Of course he’s a hypocrite, he’s only speaking his mind and being realistic. He’s trying to fight the causes of global warming whilst taking flights while on vacation. So what’s he suppose to do? Swim?

I think once again, I’m missing something here.

I wonder whether the future is so doom and gloom. Are we really causing as much damage to the environment as they (media, government etc) make out? Or is this just another morale panic tactic to raise the price of everything in the name of ‘the environment’?

I heard quite a while ago that the Earth’s climate changes drastically every millions years or so due to the changing temperature of the sun, the details were vague so I decided to try and check it out a bit (I had time on my hands). This made sense to me. If I break it down, there was an Ice Age on Earth all those years ago and now there isn’t. So for this to happen the ice must have melted which means that there was a point in time where the sun was hot enough to melt the ice, is this not what’s happening now? Aren’t we just going through another of the Earth’s environmental cycle? I’m obviously not a scientist and haven’t done major research in this but it doesn’t stop me having an opinion.

No doubt, CO2 emissions are making things worse rather than better but its not the ONLY reason and some have claimed that it is not the MAJOR reason. Apparently there has been some data ‘fondling’ to make some cases appear a lot worse than it is. Of course the effects ARE worse now because of numerous reasons. Encouraging people to be more environmentally conscious is fine. I suppose we can wear a jumper or completely turn off the TV and not leave it on standby but when it comes to things like charging people for throwing away rubbish and not recycling, it’s not so fair and it becomes something else…maybe bullying. We should have a 'save the earth' day where we minimise C02 emissions as much as possible by not using public transport or cars and therefore, no work!

O well! The only message I’ll leave here is for you to make up your own mind whether to follow the trend or challenge it. Personally challenging it is a lot more fun.

Work Update

Just another short work update for those who are interested, even if it’s a tiny bit.

I spoke to my manager – or rather she spoke to me – about how long I will be in my current job. She told me that I would be here for at least a month so I suppose that’s till the beginning of February. As for beyond that well, she’s not too sure so I’m not sure. I’ve been looking on the intranet to see if there are any jobs available but the only one I think I can scrape through is one where the hours are between 11pm and 7:30 am. Now I can do those hours because I’m a night person anyway and plus I can avoid all the rush hour etc etc BUT no night life and obviously no night sleep. The closing date is today so it’s not like I got time to think about it. It’s either I want it or not…should I apply?...

Bliss

I was searching around on the internet and I found this poem called “The Island”. I’m not one for poems, I actually found them quite boring but this may be due to overanalysing them while at university. This one however, is lovely - the last line is the best:

The Island

If I had a ship,

I'd sail my ship,

I'd sail my ship

Through Eastern seas;

Down to a beach where the slow waves thunder-

The green curls over and the white falls under-

Boom! Boom! Boom!
On the sun-bright sand.

Then I'd leave my ship and I'd land,

And climb the steep white sand,

And climb to the trees,

The six dark trees,

The coco-nut trees on the cliff's green crown -

Hands and knees

To the coco-nut trees,

Face to the cliff as the stones patter down,

Up, up, up, staggering, stumbling,

Round the corner where the rock is crumbling,

Round this shoulder,

Over this boulder,

Up to the top where the six trees stand ....

And there I would rest, and lie,

My chin in my hands, and gaze

At the dazzle of sand below,

And the green waves curling slow,

And the grey-blue distant haze

Where the sea goes up to the sky....

And I'd say to myself as I looked so lazily down at the sea:

"There's nobody else in the world, and the world was made for me."

A.A. Milne

Lets Talk About Friends.

Happy New Year and all that.

I was reading an article off the internet about friendship. It turns out that someone has one million friends on their “MySpace” friends list. ONE MILLION FRIENDS? Wow now that is sad. Can you really relate to one million people enough to call them your friends? I don’t think so! A good 90% of that one million are probably what I call, “periphery friends”, those who are around but not really around if you know what I mean.

What is a friend? I like this definition made by the “Life Coach” Carole Ann Rice: “You don't have to be anyone other than yourself. Up, down, funny or sad, they just want to be around you. A good friend offers support, understands your character and how you tick and relishes it. They should be on hand to give you the odd reality check too.”

Having a friend doesn’t mean speaking to them everyday or every two days but knowing that when you need them, they’ll be there if they can. So when you break it down, how many REAL friends do you have? Probably not that many. Quality is more important than quantity, isn’t that what they always say? And I suppose it’s true, unless you’re having a house party then that’s when you need both. Init.

I also think we make friends with people who are similar to ourselves – note I said similar and not exactly alike. We connect with people we can relate too, or else, what would we talk about? My friend group consists of quite straight forward, kind hearted, funny with a certain level of Nigerian (if they’re from Nigeria) rudeness. I must admit I don’t have a wide selection of friends from all over the world but I’ll work on that I think.

Christmas

Another blog entry, I’m on a roll..

Christmas is a great time of year when everyone’s suppose to be happy, singing, clapping etc during the festive period. However, the build up is usually very stressful, but why?

Supposedly the happiest period of the year turns out to be one of the most stressful.

Most…no, it’s correct to say some of my friends aren’t getting gifts for anyone maybe ’cause trying to think of what to get is a stressful process, buying it is even worse! I’m getting gifts for my family but even that was hard. It was hard to think of what I wanted and it’s hard to think of what my family would want, so why bother? I suppose when someone says ‘what do you want for Christmas?’ they really mean ‘How can we negotiate what you want for Christmas’. It’s nice when the day comes and you’re handing people the gifts and you see that they’re happy with what you got them. It’s also nice to wait in anticipation to see what they got you, if anything.

However I fear that Christmas has become a sort of ‘buy the biggest and the best’ rather than just enjoy the company of your family or friends or whoever you spend your time with at Christmas. I know it’s just one day but it’s a big day just as Ramadan would be a big day for Muslims. It’s a day you’re suppose to be happy and the build up to it should be just as good. A lot of people always say ‘I hate the Christmas period’ - that shouldn’t be! Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you should hate everything…well not yet anyway. Don’t let the Christmas period bring you down, try to let it bring you up!

Today

A friend of mine asked me whether I ever update my blog. Thanks love I know you’re only asking because you’re really bored at work and you want something to do! Plus I don’t update as much because no one comments so I don’t know if you’re reading it or not. Good to know you are!

Today was/is quite depressing. I woke up this morning as I do almost every morning of the week now and was feeling really down, or slow, or depressed. I’m not sure which one or if it’s all of them. I guess I’m just tired I suppose but it’s not because I have to go to work everyday but it’s more because I have nothing to look forward too....only Christmas. Just going to work, sometimes going out on the weekends etc. I’ve done those things before I need something new and fresh. I reckon a holiday would be perfect but by the time I’ve organised everything with the people I want to go with, I probably wouldn’t go. So I was wondering whether I should go on my own or just take one person with me, someone reliable and willing to take a break as much as I am.

Someone at work said that she’s going to live in Sydney in January. I admire her, I’ve been meaning to do something like that as well. Maybe not live in Sydney or anything but go somewhere for a couple of months. I need to miss London in order to appreciate it a lot more. I believe you can’t really appreciate your life until you’ve seen some new things every couple of years or so, it’s a form of stimulation which I need/want…but where to go?

As for those interested in how my work life is going, well, its going I suppose. It’s a little stressful because it’s Christmas and everyone wants their money but other than that it’s fine. The hype I was on when I first started this job has subsided and now I’m just use to it. I’m happy I have it and I would go permanent if they asked me too but I doubt it right now. Things seem a little unsteady with the company structure or so I'm told....

A New Day.

Monday 4th December

I was going to write that after 5 weeks or whatever, I’ve never really felt tired or anything. Now, I’m feeling the toll of routine work. This is what I’ve dreading way before I even knew what I wanted to do. I have to wake up when I don’t feel like waking up, literally force myself out of bed and crawl to the bathroom. Even after a bath I don’t feel awake. I got bags under my eyes because I’m tired and I feel drained. What happened to those days when I could wake up at 12pm? Plus I think I’m contracting a cough…and don’t forget my hair…To make it worse, I tried to get in on time but annoyingly got in early and my manager wasn’t even there to see my good (albeit unintentional) act.

But I’m in the office now and the sun in shining. I feel better but not at my best which is better than nothing right? Its amazing what listening music can do for you.

This weekend I slept a whole night on Sat which I haven’t done in a long time which may the reason why I feel/felt tired, too much sleep.

I wonder what today will hold for me…hopefully something good...hopefully...

Hair Trouble!!!!!!!!

Today I decided, was going to be the day when I finally plucked up the courage to go and get my hair cut. So I woke up at 10am this morning, stood at the bus stop for about 5 minutes then decided I could walk to the hairdressers. I could get my days exercise while doing it as well so its all good. I got to the hairdressers now and I told them what I wanted…

Anyway to cut the long story short I basically feel like crap.

My hair that was once almost near the middle of my back is now shoulder length and I really don’t like it because it’s so FLAT! I wouldn’t expect guys to understand my feeling but women should get what I’m saying. Spoke to my friend today and she understood completely. I basically look like a wet rat or a European person after they have just washed their hair. It’s HORRIBLE!!!! I hate that’s its so much shorter than usual, and I now know why I’ve taken so long to get round to doing it. Instead of walking out the hairdressers feeling buff, I was walking around with my hood on, holding it down so the wind wouldn’t blow it off and show the hideous black tentacles that lie beneath. But OK OK, lemme just chill a minute…Its good because at least I’ve gotten rid of all my split ends and the fact that so much had to be taken off shows that my hair was in bad condition. Im gonna put my hair in extensions once this has puffed out and it looks a lil messy but at least Ive done it! Hopefully the rumours are true, that once you cut/trim your hair, it grows back nicer and thicker. I must admit, I would like my hair to be thicker rather than longer but right now, I dont think I have either!! No ones gonna see me this week so it’s good. All I will do is go to work and come home. Simple.

Hair is just LOOOONG and to make it worse, I’m craving…

Model Behaviour

When I go to work I sometimes end up reading magazines that we publish just simply to take up lunch break time. Within a certain magazine there has, for the past couple of weeks, been a section that relates to the issue of the programme ‘Make Me A Supermodel’ in which Jen Hunter was told that her legs were too ‘stocky’ for the catwalk. This is opposed to Marianne Berglund who was told she had a great body despite the fact that she was seriously underweight. Hunter is a size 12 whereas Berglund is a size zero. Both girls claim that they are satisfied with their sizes and that the media should leave their bodies alone. The issue here is really quite obvious. Health officials and people in general are claiming that the programme is portraying a negative image of the female body. By commending Berglund they are supposedly claiming that being a size zero is ideal. When I saw the picture of Berglund in a bathing suit-which I wish I could find to post on here-I instantly thought she looked way too thin. Almost like a skeleton and while they claimed she was the ‘ideal’ weight for modelling I wondered whether this was true. I’ve seen quite a few models in the magazines I've read and not many of them are as skinny as Berglund, then again none of them are as ‘big’ as Hunter either.

Berglund looks unhealthy and so does Hunter to a certain extent. Now size 12 is an OK weight in the ‘normal’ world and I think people have backed Hunter much more than they have Berglund. But I wonder whether they are doing this just to look good. Lemme ask a question:

If there were pictures of overweight models in bikini’s etc would it be as appealing?

I think in all honesty the answer would probably be NO. Even though we see a normal sized person on a model programme we know that, in reality she would be have a hard time getting work. We’re so use to seeing skinny models that if this were to change, it would not work as well.

I don’t know many women who would prefer an overweight male model advertising jeans as opposed to a well toned model. Only thing is, the men usually look healthy not skinny and scrawny. Instead of encouraging fat or thin models how about they encourage TONED models. Those that promote a healthy lifestyle and look good at the same time. I don’t mean women who have biceps like men or anything that extreme but I think you catch my drift. Does it matter anyway? Seems like things are airbrushed and adjusted so much that you’d probably find it hard to recognise the model if you saw them in real life!

I’m not against skinny models simply because it’s up to them to do what they want to do with their bodies. I think it’s up to the viewer to decide whether they look to these people as role models or not. I understand that being overweight breeds negative associations to do with laziness, a sedentary lifestyle and greediness but if you feel comfortable in your own skin then people will love you for it. I know it’s easier said than done and at times I do not feel comfortable in my own skin but I will learn too. I mean, I don’t think I have a reason NOT too. As long as being a little bigger doesn’t seriously affect your health then go for it!

Being skinny is not simply the tool needed to become a model. You also need to have the body shape for it so for those who feel they can stop eating and hopefully have a chance in the modelling world, well, have a long think first to see if God made you suitable.

A Short Update

So I’ve been working for 3 weeks at my new place which has been good so far. This week I’ve been a bit sick but still managed to drag myself into work only to find myself doing nothing of great importance. I still haven’t been trained properly which is starting to get to me because work still needs to be done. My manager is always so busy running between two buildings and people always keep trying to get in contact with her so she rarely has time to train me. I can hardly hold her down! Usually I would be a bit pissed about this but I like my manager and we get on so well but I think that if I’m not trained next week I may have to tell her to actually sit down and do it. Then again, she did tell me that next week IS usually their busiest week. To make things worse I need to tie up any loose ends (and there are a lot) that the guy who was there before me hadn’t done. So I get people calling me up and asking for things I have no idea about.

Anyway, all will still be well.

I do like working there though. The people are alright and the environment is nice (especially because I can occasionally get away with writing emails to my peeps haha!). I went to some gathering thing that my manager invited me too. I didn’t want to go but I thought I should just to see what its like. I had an ok time to be honest and my manager said I stayed longer than she thought I would which is good. At least she now thinks that I’m willing to go to social gatherings and all.

I would like to get my manager to take me around the buildings and show me how the magazines are actually put together, how the radio and T.V. stations work and who writes the columns in the magazine. She said she would so hopefully she will, actually, I KNOW she will, I wont let her forget!

I eventually want to start writing some columns for some of the magazines they publish, but all in good time…

Three stories

Children are growing up too fast!

According to a study made by very interesting various people children are growing up way too fast, much faster than any adult can keep up with. I think the terminology is ‘age compression’ (they could have thought of a better title, but hey, that’s me). Apparently children stop believing in the tooth fairy and all that by the age of four whereas their parents stopped believing in such things around the age of ten. So why are our children growing up “too fast”? I suppose the answer is probably quite easy. There are loads of options around now especially with the internet where children can learn a lot of life skills without proper interaction! Also a lot of ‘young’ kids have older brothers and sisters so they learn from them as well.

We usually see the negative sides of kids growing too fast such as drug dealing etc but I don’t reckon it’s a completely bad thing. In a world where everything is happening yesterday I’m not surprised to find that they HAVE to grow up sooner or be left behind. In the UK you chose the direction of your life by the time you’re 15 (with the year 9 options). Of course you can change your mind like I did but essentially that’s what they’re asking you to do.

On the other hand though, if I look at it from a cynical point of view, it can also be a bad trend. Children and everyone else are more susceptible to marketing and the media. Kids now want ipods for xmas not a Barbie doll, they want laptops not desk computers, everything’s going technology crazy! And they only want these things because they see it on T.V. or their friends have it. But ‘age compression’ is not just limited to technology. Children are now having children and that’s where the negative connotations of growing too fast lie. Can they handle the responsibilities of adulthood when they’re children?

But is it the children’s fault?

This leads into the next story:

Girl diagnosed with depression.

I saw an article in a newspaper about a girl who was diagnosed with depression at the age of four. Now her mum thought that depression was an adult psychological ‘disease’ but it seems this has proved her wrong. The girl became depressed because she was unable to attend the school her friends attended - they got in, she didn’t.

I don’t understand why she would be diagnosed with depression because of this. Have there not been times when we want something so bad and can’t get it? Does that mean we should be diagnosed with depression too? I mean, COME ON! What’s going on here? Now the girl knows what depression is at the age of four, she’s probably going to be depressed more often simply because it’s in the back of her mind. The girl is upset, that’s all it is. We all get upset from time to time, it’s healthy and it’s what helps us grow. I feel sorry for her mum because she now has to keep her child happy unless she may get ‘depressed’ again…it’s ridiculous! Kids ARE growing up too fast but what choice do they have?

Choice leads me onto the third story:

Children to stay in school till the age of 18?

It has been proposed that kids should have to go to school up until the age of 18. This is a tough one, at first I thought it was a great idea but now I’m not too sure. I mean, forcing children to go to school increases competition for those who REALLY want to go onto FE or HE. This in turn will force children to grow even faster as parents try to teach their children even more complicated things to evade the competition as much as possible. For those who go because they have too, they may end up corrupting the more genuine ones. Another negative association is the fact that college is not for everyone. Some people are good academically and some are good practically so how do they cater to both? I reckon they should introduce a lot more practical aspects within learning, that way, they will have the skills they need when applying for jobs and they all win in the end.

Sometimes I wonder why they proposed this, are we getting dumber? The answer is probably ‘Yes’ simply because everything is done for us now. Give me homework and I’ll just pop on the net and type it all in Google then copy and paste, add a few ‘ands’ and thes’ maybe use a different word here and there…simple!

‘On the other hand’

Keeping children in education till the age of 18 keeps them in check. It means that kids stay kids a lot longer so I suppose it could help dampen this ‘age compression’ thing. It means that kids learn more than they would had they dropped out at 16 and it eventually MAY equal better job opportunities for them (although not guaranteed as I know), so they end up winning in the end.

O well, just gotta wait and see what happens!

New Beginnings Old Endings.

Yesterday I started my new job at my new company and it was ok. I spent ages getting there although on a normal no traffic basis it would take me about half n hour, this time I left 1 hr and 30 mins and still managed to get there just 15 mins early! Anyway yesterday was quite a boring day, well, actually it wasn’t boring. I didn’t have much to do but I enjoyed watching what other people were doing (and reading magazine articles). The radio was on so I spent most of my time singing along with that and listening to the new Justin Timbelake album that my manager brought in. I also ended up eating quite a bit of chocolate and spending quite a bit on lunch at Marks and Sparks….

But in terms of the atmosphere, its quite a cool one. We are on the fourth floor and when the lift opened I was greeted with pink floors and pink, yellow and white stripped walls (apparently it’s the girly floor where girly magazines are published so girl = pink). Everyone is laid back and quite friendly…so far…

Today however, was a sad day. I had to say goodbye to my other workplace who I’ve been with for over a year now. Yes I only worked one day a week and I hated the job but I somehow liked the people and even though I felt uncomfortable there at first, I got use to it and use to them. Today was also actually quite depressing because I had to do a hand over and it was so boring explaining everything. Plus my job has a time limit which was really disregarded seeing as the payroll came in almost an hour and a half late simply because I had to explain and explaining takes long! Nonetheless the handover person had a lot to take in so I knew I was wasting my time really explaining it. Plus I had already written out excellent training notes so she can refer to them as and when needed.

It would have been nice to at least have a leaving dinner or something because I have been so loyal to them. I’ve never had a sick day and even when I was sick I still came in. Today ended up being even worse than normal days! My director said they will organise something for and let me know later so let see if that comes to pass…

Going back for my official second day at my new workplace tomorrow, really hope all works out well ‘cuz if it doesn’t, Im screwed!!

New Job!!!!!!!!!!

Well today I went for an interview for a really big company who do a million and one things. They publish really popular magazines like Heat, FHM etc.

I went for the interview and the lady I would be working with is very nice, we get along so all should be well. I start on Monday and while I am more than happy with this job I wish the pay was way better. Nonetheless its in the media industry and God has provided for me.

I am quite sad that I have to leave my current employer, I mean, as much as I hated the job I did like the people and I'm comfortable now (after 1yr and a bit who wouldnt be?). I'm also dreading my first day at Emap, meeting the new people, starting the role. Hopefully it will all work out well! Im just excited at the doors this job can open for me but only time will tell how it goes....dont you worry, Im still planning to become a millionaire, havent lost sight of that and never will until I am one! But in order to make millions you have to start somewhere and Im starting...

Im also dreading the hours, its standard (9:30-5:30) but thats not really the problem, the problem is getting there and getting back home. Nothing makes a day worse than taking an hour to get to work and an hour (or more!) to get back; frustrating! I can see myself fighting to get on the bus every morning, thats what I dread!!

I will be working between two different buildings, one's in Shaftsbury avenue and the other is in Oxford Street, Mapping road or something so Im working in the heart of London, where all the shops are, where I can spend all my hard earned cash on clothes...hmm, its not such a good thing after all!

Anyway I'll keep updating my blog and write on how the job is going when I start.

"There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why."-William Barclay

An Empty One.

People always say that when you fail at something, get up and try something else. I am one of those people but sometimes I feel it is healthy to feel a little depressed and down sometimes. I mean, we have that emotion so why not use it? Anything is bad when used in excess so never over use your depressive emotions but use them once in a while. It’s not always possible to be happy 24/7 and this is MY time for depression. I’m depressed not because I didn’t get the last HR job, that is ok I suppose. I was emailed the reason why I never got the job and I must admit, they are more than fair in their evaluation, HR wasnt the way I wanted to go and it was obvious. I’m more depressed due to time, it's running out! I have a loan to pay next month and I need a job so I could save up the money I need to pay it. That's the cause of my depression. Things rarely work out for me to be honest, I always have to work extra hard for what I want and while people say ‘The best things are always worth working for’ it isn’t worth it in my experience. Im not feeling sorry for myself although it may seem that way, Im just merely stating what I see as the truth. Yes I did a Masters; I have a BA…big whoop! So what? That doesn’t put me above anybody else does it? Without a job I can’t do anything I want to do because I always have to watch the pounds. It’s hard to ‘enjoy’ life without money and while I’m not broke I am in a way because I need to save £1500 for a loan I got to do the Master’s (I miss studying it though). I think it’s very unfair but my life is an unfair one I guess.

I try to believe things happen for a reason and my time will come but Ive been waiting for many a year now and, well, Im still waiting but time continues to tick on! I'm only young for a short time. I’ve been looking for work for absolute AGES and my friend starts looking for maybe two weeks and she gets one just like that, she has less experience than me as well, now isn’t that funny? I’m not really upset about that to be truthful though I do find it unfair but, who can I blame? It’s nobody’s fault.

I’ve gone to numerous useless recruitment agencies, wasting my time and money finding these places and then I never hear from them again! If I’m going to spend time and money going to these places then I think I should get something in return (not a job that would be too much now wouldnt it?, but at least an interview!). I don’t believe I’m being too demanding here I really don’t. I rarely complain to anyone about my problems because I get over it quite quick (by this time tomorrow I’d be over it) but it’s upsetting and I’m upset and that’s the truth. Dont mean to moan and I apologise to all those reading it but well, its how I feel.

Better leave this for now.

Quote: 'Time Waits For No Man'

Life Prospects.

Hi all,

I went to two interviews on Wednesday. One was from the second interview I missed the other day (see the entry below somewhere) and the first was for an IT course which was as useful as eating soup with a fork-I just didnt need it! Well anyway I went only because I feel…well, I just wanted to see what it was like, what they had to offer. I wasn’t going to go because I knew it was IT and obviously that’s not the field I want to go in. But, there’s no harm in trying is there now?

So I went and it was useless! But on the up side, the building was nice; it’s a building I would like to work in when I begin my career full of riches and exploration. But for now, its still job hunting galore.

So I finished the IT interview real quick and I had LOADS of time before the next interview. I found the place (the agency) which had the TINIEST most insignificant door I’ve ever seen…but it was blue so I suppose it stood out; when you knew it was there that is.

Anyway I still had loads of time so I found me a café Nero and ordered me a Milkshake frappe latte. I sat down on the stool nearest to the entrance (people were smoking and I didn’t think it was wise to smell like smoke when going to an interview). And I sat there and watched. I had a little booklet full of non interesting things in front of me which I glanced at once in a while but in all honesty, I wasn’t interested. I was more interested in the people walking past or into the shop. The thing about me is that I ALWAYS like to be doing SOMETHING if I’m out. I’m not the sort of ‘hang around the streets’ type. I rarely give myself the opportunity to sit and…well, just sit still on my own. I move and observe other people on the move, I observe on my way TO somewhere.

Well, seeing as I had what may have been an hour and a half to do nothing I did this ‘sitting and observing’ (while drinking my milkshake frappe latte of course!). I wish I could say that I saw something I’ve never noticed before but that would be a lie. I sat there and noticed that London was always on the move, never a time to sit and relax and that’s exactly what I saw when I was looking out of that window. People were rushing to places, coming into the shop while glancing at their watches (don’t want to overdo the lunch break), people having a quick smoke etc etc. I saw a few people who were just sitting and having a laugh but they looked young so they were probably students and the adults were wearing jeans and were talking in a foreign language so…there you go. It just seems to me like the more you grow up (and possibly the more money you have), responsibility tends to push out or overpower the things you may do to relax. It’s like you lose the essence of fun because you’re too busy to have fun, you need to get paid and that’s all that matters. Its odd and I think it may be a London or city thing. When I went to Paris (which was a while ago I admit) it seemed like most people were relaxed even though they had work to go to. The streets were not filled with rushing business men and women trying their hardest to reach work on time…it was just…chilled.

Strange, maybe it was just the time that I went…

I don’t think it’s the people, I reckon its more circumstances than anything else. People need to always be on the move because they need to live. We’re in London and you won’t go very far relaxing and having fun, you have to put in the hard work and sweat but it just seems like this is ALL they do. All the people on the lower/middle end of the hierarchy have to take all the work and no fun while the CEO’s and fatcats reap the benefits. Well, I suppose they worked for it right? Most CEO’s had an advantage but I will go into that in another post. It’ a shame in my opinion. It makes me a little sad to see but it happens and we have to accept it don’t we?

Well, no, not really.

I won’t accept it, it’s not the way I plan to live my life, I plan to ENJOY life! And this is exactly what I’m doing right now. I don’t plan on having any regrets about my past, and I hope for those of you who are reading this, the same applies to you too.

“Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.”-Thomas L. Holdcroft

So very, very wrong!

There are so many WRONG things going on lately, I don’t know where to start!

OK so I was watching the news the other day and a story about binge drinking popped up, it was one of the headline news. A story about how much the government is spending on a massive advertising campaign.

Read this article for more info:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3121440.stm

For those too lazy to read the article (as I would be if I was in your position), it basically just states how much binge drinking is costing the UK in terms of NHS spending, days taken off work because of hangovers etc.

Where is this country going?

I don’t understand, can someone tell me?

They allow 24 hour drinking and now they complain about binge drinking.

Tell you what, lets first throw in some pretty lookin' stats just so I can look intelligent!

…I’m only joking, I’m not gonna bore you all!

Instead take this quiz to see if you’re one of the many bingers Im talking about (that's a lot more fun isnt it?):

Binger quiz

Basically binge drinking and alcohol related crimes (this includes rape too!) have increased since they relaxed laws on pub opening times thus DRINKING can be done 24 hours…YAY!

O, wait, is it really ‘yay’? Why, of course it is if you can drink within reasonable limits, but what if you can’t? Then what? Who suffers? Are people so unhappy with their real lives that they feel the need and urge to binge drink in order to enter a fantasy land where they no longer want or have to control over what they do?

I read comments on newspaper websites by certain people (important judges and the shadow home secretary included) that the 24 hour pub opening times will lead to negative consequences…

…can someone say ‘DUH!’

Did they not realise that this is BRITAIN! We have a drinking culture here so we drink as and when we can, if this means 24 hours, hey yea! Why the hell not? Its obvious that some Britons are incapable of looking after themselves when they’re sober let alone drunk so why flex the laws? Was it a ploy for the government to receive better recognition or affection from the public? If it was, it seems like it may have backfired as per usual.

So now we have the problem of binge drinking and the government has to fork out how many millions of pounds to fund this advertising campaign.

Do you reckon that this new advertising campaign is/will be a great deterrent? What’s to stop the binge drinkers from switching channels when it comes on?

I wonder where the money’s gonna come from...see the government has this magical way of spending umpteen amounts of dosh on things and Ive always wondered ‘WHERE do they get it?’

…O wait, no wait a sec; it’s the good ol’ taxpayer, always the reliable source of income the tax payer is. Now au contraire to my ramblings I just want to say, I’m not AGAINST the government, they have made some great (…) decisions but sometimes you just want to throw on a navy blue suit, walk into the House of Parliament and say ‘What the hell are you guys thinking?!’ They need some straight talking individuals and not a bunch of ‘yes’ men! Yes men won’t do politics any good, what can you gain from yes men? Nothing!

All I can say is: The phrase 'common sense' is an oxymoron.

For those who feel they have extensive alcohol related problems read these articles:

Facts

Healthy Liver

(See Im not just here to complain, Im here to help :))

Just for the record...

If you do feel the need to binge drink, please do it in the confines of your own space (maybe invite friends round?). That way if you feel the urge to hurt anybody, you can hurt yourself instead of other innocent, random people.

Many thanks.

Interview Results....

Well!
Yesterday it turned out I had THREE interviews...oh I knew it would be an in-teres-ting day and I wasn’t disappointed.

So first interview:

I was late by about half an hour, why? I couldn’t find the damn place. Eventually got there and filled out a form with information that was on my C.V. anyway. Then, they took a random (horrible) picture of me to 'put on their files'. Then I had to take a surprise test! It was a word, excel and spelling test so it wasn’t too hard. I am advanced at using Microsoft Word but I dont know the technical terms for the tasks so I guessed most of them...its common sense really. There was a typing test where you had to type from a sheet next to the computer screen. I did ok, but I knew I could do better couldn’t though because I was in a hurry, I didn’t want to be late for the next interview!

There was a woman behind me taking the same test and she re did it about 3 times so obviously her words per min would be way higher than what she is REALLY capable of...oh well, if youre given the opportunity to cheat, wouldnt you take it? Personally, I wouldnt. Once I had the opportunity to steal a really nice belt from a shop, they wouldn’t have known I'd taken it because it was part of a top and had no security tag on it. I had seen that others have stolen the belts as there were only one or two tops with its belt remaining. I was tempted but I didn't do it. I didn’t do it because it was wrong and also because Im a Christian so I live like a Christian (or try too!)

2nd Interview:

Didn’t make it...why? Couldn’t find the damn place (again)! Used the tfl (Transport for London) website to help me find the place and it misled me...COMPLETELY! So I asked if I can reschedule it and unfortunately the person who was suppose to interview me wasn’t available so I left a message for him to call me back…did he? No. He sent me an email message asking me when next I would be available. I replied and asked whether it would be possible for him to actually call me so we can discuss where his office is and when we can next meet. He then sent ANOTHER email asking if next week Tuesday was ok. So first, he IGNORED my request and second, he has poor customer service. He is a consultant and I work in an agency so I know how GOOD consultants are suppose to work and I believe they should at least call you to have some form of personal contact. I don’t see the point of sending over 20 emails back and fourth when we could get it all over and done with in one convo. I’ve NEVER spoken to this guy, all contact has been by email even though I have called him and he has been unavailable…is this guy shy or something and if he is, why is he a consultant????

So that’s that!

3rd Interview:

Well I got there at 1:30 pm (seeing as I wasn’t going to the second interview anymore) and waited. I waited until 2:15 (the interview was at 2pm). The lady eventually came out and said to me “I wasn’t expecting you today”. I wasn’t shocked because I kinda expected that seeing as the security guard had such a hard time getting hold of her. Turns out my agency who I had spoken to the previous day hadn’t told her I would be coming for an interview. O well, no ones fault but the agency’s I suppose.

So we had our informal interview, she was really nice, very young, pretty lady. I spoke about me she spoke about the company; all we needed were cups of tea and some biscuits (but of course she wasn’t expecting me so she didn’t have time to prepare those). So the job isn’t really that interesting, I don’t really want it, it isn’t in a media company but I don’t think Im in the position at the moment to be picky really. I need £££’s right about now. SO hopefully she’ll call me back, they’re interviewing a couple of people so hopefully Im the lucky one.

But...I have a feeling Im NOT the lucky one though, Im very ambitious and I sometimes let my ambition cloud what they want to hear SO I may have given the impression that I’ll leave as and when I find something better which would be the opposite of what she wants. They want someone who will stay for at least six months…that's fair I reckon.

Anyway I’ll see how it goes.

After this interview I spent about an hour looking for a Café Nero to get me a strawberry milkshake frappe latte. Do you how hard it is to find a café Nero in Oxford, Leicester sq? I couldn’t believe it! I was determined to get it before I left for home though. I DID get it eventually after walking about in the most uncomfortable pointy shoes and when I was on the bus home, it went right past a Cafe Nero which was so much closer than the one I went too! Meh C’est la vie eh?

Still not intensely applying for anymore jobs, just maybe one or two if they pop up….Im gonna see how things pan out.

Moaning over…for today!

Job Hunting

Well I finished my Masters about a month and a bit ago and I’ve been looking for work for about 4 weeks or so with no luck. I do have two agency interviews to go too so I’ll see how that goes. But I often wonder what I’m about. When I apply for a job I get a couple of calls back but it’s for ones that I’m not really interested in…so why do I apply for them? Well, first, I need money to pay off my CDL which is to start in November, second I know I need to start from the bottom to work my way to the top.

But I wonder…do I really want to work?

I feel in my hearts of heart that the answer is No. I don’t want to work, not at all. I think it may be because I’m scared; scared that I won’t be able to do the things I can do with all my free time right now. If I want to go out shopping, I can. If I want to sleep all day, I can…it’s a life of luxury but it’s a poor life in terms of finance. We all know you can’t live in London without money.

One of the reasons why I don’t want to work is because almost everything in London runs on exactly the same time schedule. I worked for a full time week at a company and I wanted to return a top I had bought because there was something wrong with it. By the time I managed to get to the area the shop was closed…all because I was working all day and because everything opens and closes around the same time….its irritating. Going shopping on a Saturday is the worse and why is it the worse? Because EVERYBODY is free on Saturday, EVERYBODY does the same thing every week, this is not just limited to shopping by the way, it’s almost everything!

I think I hate routine and this is why I dread having a job. It may not be THAT bad, I may ‘get use to it’

But I don’t want to get use to it! I don’t want to be stuck in a dead-end job doing what I HAVE TO do instead of what I enjoy, I don’t want to be stuck in an office with wall to wall computers. I don’t want to do the same boring things day in and day out. I want weird hours, not the simple 9-5, I want to meet new people everyday day (or at least every other week). I want to work in a studio where I’m moving about being creative and constantly thinking up new creative ideas, not simply ‘how can we improve morale’ that’s boring, but things like new advertising campaigns, new ways of ‘attention seeking’, travelling if necessary to other countries. I want to have a high quality of life I feel many people in London DON’T have…I just want to be happy.

Can I get that? I believe I can but by the time I do get it, I’m old…I want it when I’m still young and vibrant! I know everything can’t be all peachy and rosey but I seem to be seeing a lot of the non-rosey side and it’s annoying.

I know I can’t get what I want now, I have no experience. Forget the degree and the masters, its experience! No one wants to train you anymore, they want you prepared and ready and how will I be prepared and ready when I’ve been busy studying full time and working part time??? I think employers should give us Grads a break, its hard to study and if we want the best grades we need to put the utmost effort into studying, we therefore, have no time to volunteer while working part time and studying full time…it’s just not easy. Even volunteering is hard; everybody is fighting even for those positions! I just can’t believe how everything is always so competitive…London is too overcrowded and demand ALWAYS outweighs supply…always!

I’ve tried to remain positive and I put my trust in God to help me along the way, but its hard, it really is. I’m not angry, just frustrated. Prior to my MA I did a BA and before that I was in college and before that I was secondary school…I need a break! But I can’t have a break because I need to pay off my loan. Things just keep moving no one ever takes a break to sit down and think, you just don’t have time to think anymore. You chose you’re A-levels when you’re 16 and that’s supposed to shape the rest of your life?

I need a holiday (no money) or a tiny break so I’ve stopped looking for work for a while. I’m just going to continue in my part time work and see how things go. When I get my motivation back then maybe I’ll carry on, if a job comes along the way? It’s all good man.