An Empty One.

People always say that when you fail at something, get up and try something else. I am one of those people but sometimes I feel it is healthy to feel a little depressed and down sometimes. I mean, we have that emotion so why not use it? Anything is bad when used in excess so never over use your depressive emotions but use them once in a while. It’s not always possible to be happy 24/7 and this is MY time for depression. I’m depressed not because I didn’t get the last HR job, that is ok I suppose. I was emailed the reason why I never got the job and I must admit, they are more than fair in their evaluation, HR wasnt the way I wanted to go and it was obvious. I’m more depressed due to time, it's running out! I have a loan to pay next month and I need a job so I could save up the money I need to pay it. That's the cause of my depression. Things rarely work out for me to be honest, I always have to work extra hard for what I want and while people say ‘The best things are always worth working for’ it isn’t worth it in my experience. Im not feeling sorry for myself although it may seem that way, Im just merely stating what I see as the truth. Yes I did a Masters; I have a BA…big whoop! So what? That doesn’t put me above anybody else does it? Without a job I can’t do anything I want to do because I always have to watch the pounds. It’s hard to ‘enjoy’ life without money and while I’m not broke I am in a way because I need to save £1500 for a loan I got to do the Master’s (I miss studying it though). I think it’s very unfair but my life is an unfair one I guess.

I try to believe things happen for a reason and my time will come but Ive been waiting for many a year now and, well, Im still waiting but time continues to tick on! I'm only young for a short time. I’ve been looking for work for absolute AGES and my friend starts looking for maybe two weeks and she gets one just like that, she has less experience than me as well, now isn’t that funny? I’m not really upset about that to be truthful though I do find it unfair but, who can I blame? It’s nobody’s fault.

I’ve gone to numerous useless recruitment agencies, wasting my time and money finding these places and then I never hear from them again! If I’m going to spend time and money going to these places then I think I should get something in return (not a job that would be too much now wouldnt it?, but at least an interview!). I don’t believe I’m being too demanding here I really don’t. I rarely complain to anyone about my problems because I get over it quite quick (by this time tomorrow I’d be over it) but it’s upsetting and I’m upset and that’s the truth. Dont mean to moan and I apologise to all those reading it but well, its how I feel.

Better leave this for now.

Quote: 'Time Waits For No Man'

Life Prospects.

Hi all,

I went to two interviews on Wednesday. One was from the second interview I missed the other day (see the entry below somewhere) and the first was for an IT course which was as useful as eating soup with a fork-I just didnt need it! Well anyway I went only because I feel…well, I just wanted to see what it was like, what they had to offer. I wasn’t going to go because I knew it was IT and obviously that’s not the field I want to go in. But, there’s no harm in trying is there now?

So I went and it was useless! But on the up side, the building was nice; it’s a building I would like to work in when I begin my career full of riches and exploration. But for now, its still job hunting galore.

So I finished the IT interview real quick and I had LOADS of time before the next interview. I found the place (the agency) which had the TINIEST most insignificant door I’ve ever seen…but it was blue so I suppose it stood out; when you knew it was there that is.

Anyway I still had loads of time so I found me a café Nero and ordered me a Milkshake frappe latte. I sat down on the stool nearest to the entrance (people were smoking and I didn’t think it was wise to smell like smoke when going to an interview). And I sat there and watched. I had a little booklet full of non interesting things in front of me which I glanced at once in a while but in all honesty, I wasn’t interested. I was more interested in the people walking past or into the shop. The thing about me is that I ALWAYS like to be doing SOMETHING if I’m out. I’m not the sort of ‘hang around the streets’ type. I rarely give myself the opportunity to sit and…well, just sit still on my own. I move and observe other people on the move, I observe on my way TO somewhere.

Well, seeing as I had what may have been an hour and a half to do nothing I did this ‘sitting and observing’ (while drinking my milkshake frappe latte of course!). I wish I could say that I saw something I’ve never noticed before but that would be a lie. I sat there and noticed that London was always on the move, never a time to sit and relax and that’s exactly what I saw when I was looking out of that window. People were rushing to places, coming into the shop while glancing at their watches (don’t want to overdo the lunch break), people having a quick smoke etc etc. I saw a few people who were just sitting and having a laugh but they looked young so they were probably students and the adults were wearing jeans and were talking in a foreign language so…there you go. It just seems to me like the more you grow up (and possibly the more money you have), responsibility tends to push out or overpower the things you may do to relax. It’s like you lose the essence of fun because you’re too busy to have fun, you need to get paid and that’s all that matters. Its odd and I think it may be a London or city thing. When I went to Paris (which was a while ago I admit) it seemed like most people were relaxed even though they had work to go to. The streets were not filled with rushing business men and women trying their hardest to reach work on time…it was just…chilled.

Strange, maybe it was just the time that I went…

I don’t think it’s the people, I reckon its more circumstances than anything else. People need to always be on the move because they need to live. We’re in London and you won’t go very far relaxing and having fun, you have to put in the hard work and sweat but it just seems like this is ALL they do. All the people on the lower/middle end of the hierarchy have to take all the work and no fun while the CEO’s and fatcats reap the benefits. Well, I suppose they worked for it right? Most CEO’s had an advantage but I will go into that in another post. It’ a shame in my opinion. It makes me a little sad to see but it happens and we have to accept it don’t we?

Well, no, not really.

I won’t accept it, it’s not the way I plan to live my life, I plan to ENJOY life! And this is exactly what I’m doing right now. I don’t plan on having any regrets about my past, and I hope for those of you who are reading this, the same applies to you too.

“Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.”-Thomas L. Holdcroft

So very, very wrong!

There are so many WRONG things going on lately, I don’t know where to start!

OK so I was watching the news the other day and a story about binge drinking popped up, it was one of the headline news. A story about how much the government is spending on a massive advertising campaign.

Read this article for more info:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3121440.stm

For those too lazy to read the article (as I would be if I was in your position), it basically just states how much binge drinking is costing the UK in terms of NHS spending, days taken off work because of hangovers etc.

Where is this country going?

I don’t understand, can someone tell me?

They allow 24 hour drinking and now they complain about binge drinking.

Tell you what, lets first throw in some pretty lookin' stats just so I can look intelligent!

…I’m only joking, I’m not gonna bore you all!

Instead take this quiz to see if you’re one of the many bingers Im talking about (that's a lot more fun isnt it?):

Binger quiz

Basically binge drinking and alcohol related crimes (this includes rape too!) have increased since they relaxed laws on pub opening times thus DRINKING can be done 24 hours…YAY!

O, wait, is it really ‘yay’? Why, of course it is if you can drink within reasonable limits, but what if you can’t? Then what? Who suffers? Are people so unhappy with their real lives that they feel the need and urge to binge drink in order to enter a fantasy land where they no longer want or have to control over what they do?

I read comments on newspaper websites by certain people (important judges and the shadow home secretary included) that the 24 hour pub opening times will lead to negative consequences…

…can someone say ‘DUH!’

Did they not realise that this is BRITAIN! We have a drinking culture here so we drink as and when we can, if this means 24 hours, hey yea! Why the hell not? Its obvious that some Britons are incapable of looking after themselves when they’re sober let alone drunk so why flex the laws? Was it a ploy for the government to receive better recognition or affection from the public? If it was, it seems like it may have backfired as per usual.

So now we have the problem of binge drinking and the government has to fork out how many millions of pounds to fund this advertising campaign.

Do you reckon that this new advertising campaign is/will be a great deterrent? What’s to stop the binge drinkers from switching channels when it comes on?

I wonder where the money’s gonna come from...see the government has this magical way of spending umpteen amounts of dosh on things and Ive always wondered ‘WHERE do they get it?’

…O wait, no wait a sec; it’s the good ol’ taxpayer, always the reliable source of income the tax payer is. Now au contraire to my ramblings I just want to say, I’m not AGAINST the government, they have made some great (…) decisions but sometimes you just want to throw on a navy blue suit, walk into the House of Parliament and say ‘What the hell are you guys thinking?!’ They need some straight talking individuals and not a bunch of ‘yes’ men! Yes men won’t do politics any good, what can you gain from yes men? Nothing!

All I can say is: The phrase 'common sense' is an oxymoron.

For those who feel they have extensive alcohol related problems read these articles:

Facts

Healthy Liver

(See Im not just here to complain, Im here to help :))

Just for the record...

If you do feel the need to binge drink, please do it in the confines of your own space (maybe invite friends round?). That way if you feel the urge to hurt anybody, you can hurt yourself instead of other innocent, random people.

Many thanks.

Interview Results....

Well!
Yesterday it turned out I had THREE interviews...oh I knew it would be an in-teres-ting day and I wasn’t disappointed.

So first interview:

I was late by about half an hour, why? I couldn’t find the damn place. Eventually got there and filled out a form with information that was on my C.V. anyway. Then, they took a random (horrible) picture of me to 'put on their files'. Then I had to take a surprise test! It was a word, excel and spelling test so it wasn’t too hard. I am advanced at using Microsoft Word but I dont know the technical terms for the tasks so I guessed most of them...its common sense really. There was a typing test where you had to type from a sheet next to the computer screen. I did ok, but I knew I could do better couldn’t though because I was in a hurry, I didn’t want to be late for the next interview!

There was a woman behind me taking the same test and she re did it about 3 times so obviously her words per min would be way higher than what she is REALLY capable of...oh well, if youre given the opportunity to cheat, wouldnt you take it? Personally, I wouldnt. Once I had the opportunity to steal a really nice belt from a shop, they wouldn’t have known I'd taken it because it was part of a top and had no security tag on it. I had seen that others have stolen the belts as there were only one or two tops with its belt remaining. I was tempted but I didn't do it. I didn’t do it because it was wrong and also because Im a Christian so I live like a Christian (or try too!)

2nd Interview:

Didn’t make it...why? Couldn’t find the damn place (again)! Used the tfl (Transport for London) website to help me find the place and it misled me...COMPLETELY! So I asked if I can reschedule it and unfortunately the person who was suppose to interview me wasn’t available so I left a message for him to call me back…did he? No. He sent me an email message asking me when next I would be available. I replied and asked whether it would be possible for him to actually call me so we can discuss where his office is and when we can next meet. He then sent ANOTHER email asking if next week Tuesday was ok. So first, he IGNORED my request and second, he has poor customer service. He is a consultant and I work in an agency so I know how GOOD consultants are suppose to work and I believe they should at least call you to have some form of personal contact. I don’t see the point of sending over 20 emails back and fourth when we could get it all over and done with in one convo. I’ve NEVER spoken to this guy, all contact has been by email even though I have called him and he has been unavailable…is this guy shy or something and if he is, why is he a consultant????

So that’s that!

3rd Interview:

Well I got there at 1:30 pm (seeing as I wasn’t going to the second interview anymore) and waited. I waited until 2:15 (the interview was at 2pm). The lady eventually came out and said to me “I wasn’t expecting you today”. I wasn’t shocked because I kinda expected that seeing as the security guard had such a hard time getting hold of her. Turns out my agency who I had spoken to the previous day hadn’t told her I would be coming for an interview. O well, no ones fault but the agency’s I suppose.

So we had our informal interview, she was really nice, very young, pretty lady. I spoke about me she spoke about the company; all we needed were cups of tea and some biscuits (but of course she wasn’t expecting me so she didn’t have time to prepare those). So the job isn’t really that interesting, I don’t really want it, it isn’t in a media company but I don’t think Im in the position at the moment to be picky really. I need £££’s right about now. SO hopefully she’ll call me back, they’re interviewing a couple of people so hopefully Im the lucky one.

But...I have a feeling Im NOT the lucky one though, Im very ambitious and I sometimes let my ambition cloud what they want to hear SO I may have given the impression that I’ll leave as and when I find something better which would be the opposite of what she wants. They want someone who will stay for at least six months…that's fair I reckon.

Anyway I’ll see how it goes.

After this interview I spent about an hour looking for a Café Nero to get me a strawberry milkshake frappe latte. Do you how hard it is to find a café Nero in Oxford, Leicester sq? I couldn’t believe it! I was determined to get it before I left for home though. I DID get it eventually after walking about in the most uncomfortable pointy shoes and when I was on the bus home, it went right past a Cafe Nero which was so much closer than the one I went too! Meh C’est la vie eh?

Still not intensely applying for anymore jobs, just maybe one or two if they pop up….Im gonna see how things pan out.

Moaning over…for today!

Job Hunting

Well I finished my Masters about a month and a bit ago and I’ve been looking for work for about 4 weeks or so with no luck. I do have two agency interviews to go too so I’ll see how that goes. But I often wonder what I’m about. When I apply for a job I get a couple of calls back but it’s for ones that I’m not really interested in…so why do I apply for them? Well, first, I need money to pay off my CDL which is to start in November, second I know I need to start from the bottom to work my way to the top.

But I wonder…do I really want to work?

I feel in my hearts of heart that the answer is No. I don’t want to work, not at all. I think it may be because I’m scared; scared that I won’t be able to do the things I can do with all my free time right now. If I want to go out shopping, I can. If I want to sleep all day, I can…it’s a life of luxury but it’s a poor life in terms of finance. We all know you can’t live in London without money.

One of the reasons why I don’t want to work is because almost everything in London runs on exactly the same time schedule. I worked for a full time week at a company and I wanted to return a top I had bought because there was something wrong with it. By the time I managed to get to the area the shop was closed…all because I was working all day and because everything opens and closes around the same time….its irritating. Going shopping on a Saturday is the worse and why is it the worse? Because EVERYBODY is free on Saturday, EVERYBODY does the same thing every week, this is not just limited to shopping by the way, it’s almost everything!

I think I hate routine and this is why I dread having a job. It may not be THAT bad, I may ‘get use to it’

But I don’t want to get use to it! I don’t want to be stuck in a dead-end job doing what I HAVE TO do instead of what I enjoy, I don’t want to be stuck in an office with wall to wall computers. I don’t want to do the same boring things day in and day out. I want weird hours, not the simple 9-5, I want to meet new people everyday day (or at least every other week). I want to work in a studio where I’m moving about being creative and constantly thinking up new creative ideas, not simply ‘how can we improve morale’ that’s boring, but things like new advertising campaigns, new ways of ‘attention seeking’, travelling if necessary to other countries. I want to have a high quality of life I feel many people in London DON’T have…I just want to be happy.

Can I get that? I believe I can but by the time I do get it, I’m old…I want it when I’m still young and vibrant! I know everything can’t be all peachy and rosey but I seem to be seeing a lot of the non-rosey side and it’s annoying.

I know I can’t get what I want now, I have no experience. Forget the degree and the masters, its experience! No one wants to train you anymore, they want you prepared and ready and how will I be prepared and ready when I’ve been busy studying full time and working part time??? I think employers should give us Grads a break, its hard to study and if we want the best grades we need to put the utmost effort into studying, we therefore, have no time to volunteer while working part time and studying full time…it’s just not easy. Even volunteering is hard; everybody is fighting even for those positions! I just can’t believe how everything is always so competitive…London is too overcrowded and demand ALWAYS outweighs supply…always!

I’ve tried to remain positive and I put my trust in God to help me along the way, but its hard, it really is. I’m not angry, just frustrated. Prior to my MA I did a BA and before that I was in college and before that I was secondary school…I need a break! But I can’t have a break because I need to pay off my loan. Things just keep moving no one ever takes a break to sit down and think, you just don’t have time to think anymore. You chose you’re A-levels when you’re 16 and that’s supposed to shape the rest of your life?

I need a holiday (no money) or a tiny break so I’ve stopped looking for work for a while. I’m just going to continue in my part time work and see how things go. When I get my motivation back then maybe I’ll carry on, if a job comes along the way? It’s all good man.

A good night out

So I went out on Sat, 'twas a good night. The place was in West End and we drove round about seven times before we found the place even though we had a navigator which happened to not recognise the street we needed...£300 well spent then!

The thing with night time dancing is that you are always under surveillance so when my friend and I left the car we still had our coats on, apart from the fact that it was freezing, we were also trying to blend into the background (yea, we have so much self esteem you wouldnt believe!).

So anyway after much deliberation we eventually left our safe havens (our coats) in the boot of the car and went to the club entrance. When we got there one of the bouncers looked at me and my friend and said 'ID?'....I couldnt believe it! Of course I didnt have ID, Ive never been asked for ID...I dont look younger than 18...19 at the least. I think he was just playing about because he let us in eventually.

While we walked in my friend said she heard the word 'free' so we automatically assumed we'd get in for free...we were wrong. Despite this I would argue that it was money well spent, I had a good time, she had a good time so the night was a success. The music was a bit of funky house, dance hall, r 'n' b, hip hop and then some slow jams towards the end.

By the time we were done working off some pounds our stomachs were growling so we looked around for a place that was open late enough to grab something to eat...we got chips which tasted as good as a pesto pasta with moderate pieces of chicken and rustic tomatoes!

Got home and had myself 5 hours of sleep before I got up for no particular reason. I guess I just dont really need that much sleep...Im young and my energy is high!

What’s Under The Veil?

Hmmm. I'm sure all those in the UK have heard about Jack Straw's comment regarding Muslim women and the veils (niqab) they wear. I'm sure most people may feel that he is being discriminatory, insensitive and all these other words used when you speak your mind out in public. But if you really think about it, is he really being that insensitive?

For those of you who may not know the story, read this article:

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/homeaffairs/story/0,,1889173,00.html

Which is from the guardian website.

So let’s briefly look at the two points of view:

Side 1.

Question: Ladies, Jack Straw wants to know: What is under the veil?

Mr Straw claims that the niqab prevents personal contact between two individuals which can lead, on a larger scale, to increased segregation between religious communities. The niqab, therefore, has got to go! His aim is to maximise the amount of communication between different ‘groups’ as a whole. What he's really saying is: ‘When in Rome do as the Romans do’.

Side 2.

Answer: None of you business!

Some people (not just Muslims) believe that the Muslim communities are constantly under scrutiny and negative media coverage. Some believe that it is their choice and they should be able to wear what they want, after all, it is a free country (it’s debatable, I know!). They also believe that Straw’s comment was/is just another ploy to remain in the public eye.

So while Jack Straw is claiming that he isn’t being ‘prescriptive’ he is still saying, in essence, that they shouldn’t wear it. Like I said before, it’s a ‘free’ country and just as the Muslim women ought to have the choice to wear what they want, so too does Straw have the right to say what he wants…can I get an Amen?

Of course other MP’s are getting their 2 cents in, claiming that Straw was out of line etc etc..I mean, do you really expect other MP’s to agree with him? Of course not! Why would they damage their reputations? Strategically they want to go with the majority view, not against it. It takes a strong person to fight for what they believe in even if its against the majority and you don’t see much of that around.

The one that gets me though is a comment made by a MP in which he states that Straw should resign (always the best way out eh?) because he is effectively asking women to 'wear less'...oh my days, WHAT is that all about? Why should he resign because he spoke his mind? At the end of the day, everyone should be entitled to do what they want within reason and Straws reasoning behind his view is not completely random is it? On the other hand though, Muslim women also have a good point, they should be able to wear what they want when they want (again, within reason..but even that's controversial...what is 'within reason'?)

So basically, my opinion rests on both sides, I think both arguments are valid...I wonder how or if this situation will be resolved or just simply fade into the background once the 'attack the Muslim' phase is over.

Introducing...

I believe the best way to become part of any community is to introudce yourself and let others know a bit about you, so here goes...

My name is Toyin and this is my first blog, it may be my last, it may also be one of many, many more...who knows where the wind shall take us?

I just recently finished my MA in media and communications which is not really as 'lardy-dar' as people may think. I thoroughly enjoyed doing it and I done it because I wanted too and not really because of job prospects (although Im sure it will help). So this blog may be full of my endeavors in seeking work in the media jungle. Right now I think I may just be over-qualified but thats ok, I loved to study and I've done it now so there's no going back and DEFINATELY no regrets!

I live in what some may call a great city, that is, London. I dream of one day moving out of London where I have been all my life, and exploring other countries, cultures and ways of living. I love to read, especially the books written by the best author ever, Mr Stephen King. Im currently in a Stephen King marathon right now just reading one book after another. I hope to one day write my own book. I have a wild imagination and trouble putting it on paper in a coherent readable fashion, but I'm sure I'll get there one day.

Im into all sorts of music from Britney spears to Chammillionaire although I mainly do listen to R N' B and Hip hop. I also listen to 'chill out' music, just to calm me down when things become too stressful. I recommend it to everybody, even those who think they're proper gansta....No one need know, just do it on the sly!

Well, I think Ive written enough. I just want to thank anyone who has had a peek at my blog and I welcome you to the start of something random and weird.

See you soon!

T