I Cannot Express...

The anger I felt on my way to work today. All was well when I squeezed myself onto the bus. Some stupid man pushed me aside so he could get on first. Usually I wouldn’t let that slide but I did this time. So on we go to our various destinations then, a few minutes later, we hit a COMPLETE stand still. We literally DIDN’T move. As expected people started making their way off the bus, mumbling, kissing their teeth blah blah. I couldn’t move, I was too angry for all that. I just sat there (yes I managed to find a seat) staring. I could have gotten off the bus and walked but it would have been a walk from Elephant and Castle to Oxford Street (it’s a long way), I wasn’t feeling that; wasn’t feeling that at all. So there I sat. This guy next to me kept looking my way, I silently prayed he wouldn’t try talking to me because I really wasn’t in the mood (I rarely am).

Funny thing was, when we got to Piccadilly Circus, despite all the traffic we previously experienced, I looked out the window to see a man in a blue shirt jog into a coffee shop. I looked at the drivers’ seat to see that no one was there. The bus driver decided to stop at a coffee shop to purchase some coffee!!!!! This was a joke, I had to laugh, it was funny. It didn’t matter anyway, I was already late.

Anyway all in all I was about 45mins late for work. What usually is a 30 – 45 minute journey turned in an hour and a half!

I can tell this is going to be a great day.

Doc, I’ll Have A Breast Enlargement Please

People say money can’t buy you happiness but isn’t that what poor people say to make themselves feel better? I mean, if I think clearly about this I would say that if I had money I would spend on myself and the people I care about. The basis of that happiness would be the fact that I can afford to make myself and those around me happy, or at least happier than they are now.

So since plastic surgery is quite an expensive operation and people go through with it surely it can’t be such a bad thing? We all live to increase our happiness and if a wo/man decides to augment their body in some way because it would make them happy then, why not?

I know some may argue that it’s because God made you the way you are and you should be happy about it but that’s just like saying to someone with a major ailment should be happy because that’s how God intended it. Some people suffer major psychological discomfort from having a part of their body which they feel could and should be changed.

So what’s wrong with plastic surgery?

For one, the process is just plain nasty. If you’ve ever actually seen someone go through the process of a face lift, lipo suction or the like you would know what I’m talking about. Only then did I realise that humans really are pieces of meat; the outside is definitely better looking than the inside….trust me!

Second, there is great risk not only to your general health but your appearance as well. Have you seen plastic surgery mis-haps? Big lips, lop-sided breasts? Plastic surgery isn’t something you can just wipe off like make-up if you don’t like it. It’s serious business!

Third, our bodys change as we age. Can you imagine an old woman with sagging skin and pert breasts? How odd would that look?

Also what type of example are they setting for the younger generation? That if the outside isn’t how you want it to be just pop under the knife and change it? Can you see what type of slippery slope we’re heading towards here? Scary thought.

Nah, I don’t want to take risks with my already perfect body. It may not be physically perfect but it keeps me alive and I can move and breathe freely so it’s perfect enough for me. In that case doc, I think I’ll pass on that breast enlargement.

Eat Fresh

I can’t log onto our company intranet at the moment, they changed something or another so I need to get ‘permission’ to have access to it. So, I thought I’d just ramble.

I had two days off yesterday and the day before from work (three days off in 6 months!) and now I’m back here again. I realised that I should have really asked to take the whole week off – two days to get use to having some free time and then the rest 3 days to chill, then the weekend which doesn’t count as days off ‘cuz everyone gets those days off.

When I woke up today I wanted to cry, my eyes didn’t want to open, I just wanted to sleep longer, just a little longer. I forced myself up and went into the bath which woke me up a bit. Had a bit of spare time (10mins) so spent that lying down wishing I could stay in bed.

Funnily enough the only thing I look forward to at work is subway. It amazes me how food can motivate me. I also have my moments of obsession. Before it was McDonalds everyday, then it was tasteless pasta from Sainsbury’s, then a jalapeno chicken wrap from Pret and now subway. Yes I’m going to get subway today but haven’t decided on exactly what yet.

Untitled.

I read an article on the Guardian website a few days ago called ‘Never Forget’; you can have a read by clicking here

You could probably tell from the 8th word what this article is about. Yep, it’s about the slave trade and the holocaust (mainly the holocaust because the author is Jewish). The ‘never forget’ is in reference to the present: never forget what ‘they’ did to us or our people in the past. A lot of people – black, white, Asian – feel anger towards what happened during the slave trade and the holocaust but really, what else can they feel other than apologetic?

If you read up to the second paragraph it highlights a very common point ‘I wasn’t around then and it’s absolutely nothing to do with me’. First part may be true, second part, hmmm, arguable.

I have learnt a lot about the slave trade, how it came about, the process of colonisation and while learning was insightful, it was also enough to make you resentful. But why resent people now for what happened in the past? If we keep doing this will we ever move on? We have days such as Yom HaShoah and black history month to help us remember a past which has affected how we live today shouldn’t we learn from it? Or should we just use it as a tool to get back as those who truthfully, never had a direct hand in what happened?

I see the authors’ point of view, he wants recognition, he wants people to feel ashamed, and he wants them to be horrified at what happened. Not everyone is going to fit this category but for those who do, they can only recognise, feel ashamed and horrified for so long. They can teach their kids and THEY can only feel ashamed and horrified for so long. Yes never forget but also move on.

What makes me angry, upset, ashamed and horrified is the fact that some of the beliefs during the slave trade crop up in the present. I have had company’s ask for a picture to accompany the application form; why? The ideology that black men/women are inferior to white men/women still exists. O yea sure no one comes right out and says it but it’s still around, you only need to look at statistics for that. As a matter of fact, just use your eyes.

The ‘blame’ doesn’t just lie between black and white. There are black ‘groups’ who dislike other black ‘groups’ due to historical events. Forgiveness is a two way act. If the ancestors of the slave owners were to apologise how can we forgive them when we can’t even forgive each other? Sad.

In comparison to the past there is no doubt; things are getting better, we’re all becoming an equal people but there is still a very very long way to go before we achieve even a hint of equality, and this lies on both sides of the ‘race’ line. We need to change the underlying ideologies, get them completely out of the system. There would be no need to have regulations such as the Race Relations Act or the need to use the ‘race card’. These things are still around so as I’ve said before, there’s still a long way to go.

One comment made by someone called ‘WheatFromChaff’ on the Guardian website remained with me and sums up my point:

“History is a good servant, but a poor master. People should learn the lessons of history, not become enslaved by them.”

Amen to that.

I've Been Tagged!....Damnit...

Ok so I've been tagged by my good friend AK-Man. I did see I was tagged before my last post but I thought that if I ignore it, it'll go away...as with most of my problems, it never does.. Thanks Ak :)

OK so five thing Im obsessed with:

1. Food - Love it. Today I asked to leave an hour early if I miss lunch pfff Im still gonna get me some grub during lunch hour!

2. Sleep - I love to sleep, mainly in the day which happens to coincide with the time I work...

3. Clean, bubble gum free carpets - A weird one for me but in my room, my own private space, when I see bits of white stuff on my blue carpet I have to sweep it up! I sweep my room everyday before I go to bed, a necessary pain....maybe I should get floorboards.

4. Reading - I wouldn't say obsessed parse , more like a hobby so it doesnt really count does it? Well! At least it took up a number.

5. Sweets - Hmmm! Especially the jelly ones like the lips they sell in Topshop, hmmm, I think I'll make a little visit there today actually.

So what do i do now?

OK I need to tag 5 other people and they need to tell me 5 things they're obsessed with. I'll have to think about that one and get back.

Ok I've tagged some people (apologies!):

Dentist Down Under

Turning the pages of Life

Lord Matt

Laugh.Relate.Think

The Escape

Bank Holiday Weekend

Oh how I looked forward to the Easter bank holidays! So much that I started to enjoy my job just that bit more. The fact that I didn’t have to come to work on a work day was, I must say, one of the best feelings. Apart from that I was happy that Easter Sunday was finally coming round so I could get my chocolate munch on!

So this is how I spent my Bank Holiday weekend.

Friday:

Friday was lovely. Unfortunately I woke up about 9am anyway (4 hours earlier than my student days) but the fact that I didn’t NEED too was great! So I think I spent most of the day doing nothing of great importance and yet the day seemed to wiz by… Anyway come 4pm I started to get dressed for my friends wedding. I was wearing a blue/black two tone Asian-looking trouser suit. The trousers were WAY to baggy though, I looked like bloody MC Hammer! What could I do? The length was good so just had to manage, thankfully my bro was driving me up there so I didn’t have to suffer too much embarrassment.

So jumped in the car around 5pm (the wedding started at 6pm), picked my friend up from Stratford and made our way there. The place was so far (as is EVERY East London location from where I live). It was in a nice hotel, very posh nosh. We got there 2 minutes past 6 and I was feeling very proud that I made it on time. I mean, if it was a Nigerian wedding I would know to reach about 8pm and even then I’d be early, but for a Muslim wedding, well, I didn’t know if they were ‘fashionably’ late as well. Well it didn’t take long to notice that they too are members of the ‘fashionably late’ crew. We waited TWO hours for the bride to arrive. While I would usually be a bit peed by the time 30mins had gone by, it wasn’t really that bad. I had my friend to chat to and we just had a look around the hotel. Finally the bride came and she looked nice in a maroon sari with sparkling silver sequence.

It was all good, food came so it was even better. What brought the mood down for me though was that because the wedding was on Good Friday, I wasn’t allowed meat which meant I missed out on the kebab, chicken and curry. I had rice and a potato dish thing instead which didn’t really suffice but was still nice!

All in all I had a good time at the wedding. The bride, my friend, organised it all and it turned out well, a couple of grand well spent I think.

Saturday:

Saturday was another great day. I woke up about 9am AGAIN but I stayed in bed till about 12 falling in and out of sleep until the family started their noise for the day. Spoke on the phone for about 5 hours, ate bits and pieces, just basically living like a student again.
Night time I went out for a great night which didn’t turn out as great, the rave finished early which was bad because I paid near enough £20 for the night but was good because I had church the next day anyway. Which leads me onto….

Sunday:

Woke up (again to the sound of the fam and the noise which accompanies them), jumped in the tub for a cold bath because all the hot water had gone, got dressed and was on my way to church with bro and sis. Church was good, danced a lot, it was Easter and everybody was happy, happiness is contagious plus the sun was out….all good…
When I got home I had a flake chocolate bar, my first one in over 40 days!

Monday:

I really didn’t want to do anything but I thought I better not waste this day so a friend and I went shopping. I made a point to make it a 5 hour shopping day as opposed to the usual 8 hour day where all we’d come back with is a belt. I must be the only women to admit this but…I hate shopping. I usually like to go into a shop, get what I need, and come out. Trying on garments I’m not considering buying is a waste of time, but hey! That’s me…

So that was my bank holiday weekend. My only regret is that I didn’t go gym, frankly I couldn’t be bothered….I’ll make up for it this week though, or maybe next week….

Today I’m back at work, not feeling so good but at least it’s a four day week!