Thin Is In?

Is being thin in? I know I've written about this before but I have to complain some more. You would have thought that after all this who-har about size zero models and how they don’t represent ‘real’ women (what’s a real woman?) that we would all be happy and accept our own bodies just the way it is.

Not the case.

According to this article entitled ‘Size Zero Are heroes’, 6 out of 10 women think the size zero figure is ideal and the size 12, fat. Cor blimey ladies, aren’t we being a little hard on ourselves? What does a size zero look like in real life anyway? I would think a human shaped flat cardboard which just happens to speak and move (I was gonna say ‘eat’ but that wouldn’t have been appropriate). I’ve never seen a size zero on the streets only in magazine pictures and they obviously don’t depict a true likeness of the actual person. But reading that article made me a little sad to be honest. To see that women are going to the lengths of taking drugs to loose their appetite and increase weight loss.

What makes it worse is that it’s WOMEN who put the pressure on themselves to be thin. Most men - I like to believe - are more comfortable with the slightly more ‘curvier’ woman, someone they can hold on too, a bit of ‘meat on the bones’. This doesn’t mean someone who just lets themselves go and eats whatever for the sake of it. Being overweight is an eating disorder just as being overly thin is.

We all want to look good and feel good; something I have learnt though is that how you look to the public is very much dependent on how you carry yourself. If you are slightly larger (a size 12 God forbid!) and you carry yourself with pride, stand tall etc etc, I would think you’d be a MUCH more attractive person overall. The women who claimed that being a size 12 was fat are probably a size 12 or over themselves hence the reason they believe it’s ‘fat’. Embrace your weight, as a matter of fact, don’t weigh yourself! You’ll never be at your ideal weight because there’s always something that could be changed here there and everywhere.

Screw that!

It’s sad to see that women STILL believe size zero is ideal. It may be for people who are naturally thin but to me, it’s just plain boring!

10 Things That Annoy Me

It's almost the end of the day, just thought I'd write me a list of a couple things that annoy me.

10. When someone leaves - A tiny bit of juice in the carton and returns it to the fridge.

9. People who cough/sneeze without covering their mouth – That’s just plain nasty and unhygienic.

8. Cyclist on the road– I know it’s environmentally friendly, good exercise blah blah but you hold up all the other non-environmentally friendly forms of transport and they’re faster so get out the way!

7. Bus holders – These are people who get on the bus, ask loads of questions relating to their journey and then finally figure out that this isn’t the bus they need. All the while keeping US waiting!

6. When you crave something only to find that someone’s taken it – This gets me. I look forward to eating my popcorn all day only to find that it’s already been eaten by someone else who ‘didn’t know it was mine’.

5. Family talking really loudly when I’m trying to sleep – That’s just self explanatory…

4. Patronising people – No one likes patronising people but some can take it. I can’t.

3. People who take ages at the cashpoint when all you wanna do is take out £10 – Hurry up, get yo’ shiznit and move out the way!

2. Prams – I know they’re necessary but when you’re getting on the bus, don’t move people out your way by digging it into their heels, it hurts. Also, don’t give us pramless people dirty looks; we have as much right to be on that bus just like you mate.

1. People who stand in the middle of a busy street – I work in west end, one of the busiest places in London and STILL people stand in the middle of the street having a good ol’ chinwag like they’re the only people in London! Get. Out. The. Way!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

Aint that the truth eh? I can’t believe how fast time flies even when you’re not having fun. We’re in 2007 and I can still remember my days in primary school – dare I say – ‘like it was yesterday’. In fact, I have very lengthy conversations with my primary school friend about it. Yep, that’s right I actually do have friends I’ve known since primary/secondary school – that’s between the ages of 5 to 16 for those not familiar with the UK system of education - which would mean I’ve known my primary school friend for over 15 years. Wow, that makes me sound way too old. I don’t think I appreciate that (I do really). Just means I can keep links with people I get along with, plus, a friendship that has lasted that long is definitely worth maintaining.

The problem I have with time is that it keeps moving. Yea we all know time moves but it’s annoying. I wish it would stop or at least slow down, let’s squash two months together and call it June or August, let’s rename this year 2006. Everything’s just constantly moving and moving fast. I’m afraid to lie in bed sick because that means another day has gone, processes have passed and I’ve missed something whether it’s Ugly Betty or Lost or even a major important event; if I’m not there at that time then I’ve practically missed that particular event…..forever! It’s lost in time and I can never get it back. That’s actually quite a scary thought and I don’t mean to scare but if I’m thinking this way I think it’s fair I share my distress and hopefully get you feeling how I’m feeling; sharing is caring after all.

Anyway, my point is to enjoy life as much as you can. It’s hard and I have my ‘I wish time would speed up’ days, in fact, I had a moment this morning. I was practically praying that Wednesday would come very very soon and BAM! it’s the end of the day already (woohoo!).

Come to think of it, if I spent every waking moment doing something I love then I suppose my time would run out a lot faster so maybe I should be grateful I have boring moments where my mind can just wonder and I can write things down when I have a burst of energy…like now. Hmm! I suppose there’s a good and bad side to absolutely everything!

Have a nice day.

Back to Basics

O man, it’s Back to Basics. I feel ‘that time’ is approaching, it may be in a couple of weeks, it may be tomorrow, it may be in another months time but I know the time is coming. What ‘time’ am I referring to? The time of….

UN-EM-PLOYMENT.

At my current workplace there have been some major changes and it’s sad to see that some of the people I have spoken to regularly in the company – some of which have been there for over 10 years - may be leaving at the end of March. It’s sad but true. Redundancy is a major part of business life. Companies want to maximise their profits, cant blame them, that’s their basic purpose, and an obvious way to do this is cut costs i.e. get rid of some people. So as you can imagine, morale is pretty low and as a result the work pace has slowed. Change is never good if it’s change for the worse, but that’s a matter of perspective. I must admit that most people are very upset and shaken by the fact that their role has been put ‘under risk’ but as they say ‘when one door closes behind you, another one is opening in front’ and I believe this to be true, it’s what keeps me going. I also believe that the level of truth in that statement depends heavily on the individual. Opportunities come along all the time, it’s just a matter of spotting them and seizing them as and when they do. Those who are successful have the knack to spot those opportunities and work with them. I hope to also develop this ‘knack’.

I haven’t personally been told what’s going to happen to my role but as I work for these employees who are ‘at risk’ I would assume my role is ‘at risk’ also. Funnily enough I don’t mind. It’s like a kick up the bum and it also stops me from ‘getting comfortable’ in a role I detest just because I’m getting paid. It gives me the opportunity to explore other options and hopefully find a new role in the sector I do want to work in. I should actually say the sector I think I want to work in. I’m new to the working scene so right now it’s all about exploring and testing until I find something I like. Media is a big industry and there are so many roles and opportunities available out there for me I just need time to poke my head in take a good look.

I look forward to having time to myself, apart from the fact it means I can sit around and do nothing, it also gives me the opportunity to think about my career and in which direction I want it to go. I can also do things that I miss doing because I’m at work e.g going gym at off-peak (cheaper) times and, of course, updating my blog more frequently. When I finished university I started off with ‘I want to work in media’ and now I’ve ended up with ‘I would like to work in marketing, advertising or even fashion (?!)’, who knows? A few months down the line I may end up with ‘I want to work in this particular role’ or even ‘I want to start my own business in this sector’. I think it’s healthy to keep your options open, try new things and see where it takes you.

It all sounds positive (may be due to the sun outside) and I will be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. I pray that my next role is a step up from my current one and I learn new things, meet new people and have a clearer perspective of life and what I wish to do with it. Where I am in my current company is very basic but I admit that I have learnt so much working here simply through the interactions I have had with the people around me and obviously, by using my eyes to see for myself as opposed to hearing about it or reading about it in a textbook. I just hope this leads on to better things.

The sky’s the limit! And remember….there’s always room at the top.

Lent

Lent had begun some time last month. I say ‘sometime’ because I can’t particularly remember the day but I know I was trying to spread the word. Anyway, I decided that I’d give up chocolate for lent. I mean, I never use to eat that much chocolate anyway – actually, let me rephrase that - I didn’t eat much chocolate a month or so before the lenting period but prior to that I use to have one everyday….at least…

Well I thought giving up chocolate for lent would be a breeze. A friend of mine is also doing it with me so I thought we can give each other some moral support and/or counselling if need be. Yea I know you’re suppose to give up something you really like, but giving up is giving up man.

I was very determined when I first started off mainly because I THOUGHT it would be easy

It aint easy.

Chocolate encounter numero un (soon after the beginning of lent): A colleague of mine is on his way to a coffee shop and asks me if I would like anything. No thank you I say, then after about a minute, change my mind. Instead I say I would like a plain croissant. While I ask for this I slowly reach for my bag therefore giving the impression that I wish to extract money from my purse. He then replies oh no don’t worry about the money, its fine…haha sucker!
Any-who it all falls back on me because when he gets back he says sorry Toyin they didn’t have plain croissants so I got you a CHOCOLATE croissant instead, hope it’s OK….
I still ate the croissant (if I didn’t wouldn’t that be rude?) but I ate around the chocolate literally wiping the chocolate off my fingers if they so happen to make contact with the brown stuff. Now, I know this may be a little hard to believe but I promise you, I didn’t taste a single drop of chocolate.

Chocolate encounter numero deux: Get home from a long hard tiring day at work to find a see-through container of Ferraro Roche’s on the table. Once again I had to practice self control and not eat any; this didn’t mean I didn’t fight for some. I did and now they’re sitting in my drawer ready to eat when lent ends. Funnily enough, I’m not tempted by them…yet

Chocolate encounter numero trois: FREE kit-kat chunky in one of our competitor mags…

Chocolate encounter numero quatre: Was feeling a little peckish one evening so I searched around the house and all I could find were biscuits….chocolate biscuits….

Hmph! Talk about fighting temptations…!

Fat Women?

This does nothing for the female self-esteem but according to this article British women are a lot fatter than their ‘peers’ (if you read the article I urge you to read the comments, some are actually quite funny but not for the easily offended). OK, so British women are fatter than their peers. I assume when they say ‘peers’ they mean in comparison to women in other EU countries such as France, Germany etc. I would probably have to agree. But what can be done? They’ve already banned junk food advertising (like that’s really going to stop people), they have tried to advertise a lot of healthier options and entrepreneurs such as Jamie Oliver are working hard to promote healthy living. They have however, forgotten several important factors one of which is price. The costs associated with ‘healthy’ food far outweigh the costs of junk food. Of course spending a lot of money on healthy food isn't so bad IF the food lasted for more than a week or so. It doesn’t, so this means you need to buy healthy food frequently at a higher price – not very appealing and don’t get me started on the level of taste and flavour….

Secondly, most work involves sitting at a desk in front of a computer for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. After 8 hours of doing that you really don’t want to go home to cook a ‘healthy’ meal. You want to throw something in the oven (pizza?) or order.

Before I go any further I just want to point out that if you read the article carefully (or at all) you would have noticed it said that men are not far behind, so men, you’re not out of the woods either. Plus, men shouldn’t be anywhere near behind as there is no point in a mans life where he needs to be eating for two…

OK so now to blame the REAL culprit for this problem; Me, You, the people who eat junk food.

I suppose it’s a valid argument when someone says ‘Well, they don’t force you to eat it’. True. Very true indeed. Those who manage to keep their weight down or avoid the entire junk food range have a very high level of discipline…not to mention their enjoyment of flavourless food. Can you imagine yourself thinking ‘Hmm for lunch today I’ll have me two cherry tomatoes with two, no make that FOUR (I’m feeling rather ravenous today) leaves of lettuce’. No, I thought not. So what about us (you know who I mean) who love food full of flavour and fat (at a decent price of course)? What are we suppose to do?

I suppose we need to or at least try to exercise a greater sense of discipline…I admit though, I tried that and I spent way too much so it’s back to junk food but in smaller protions if that helps. I make myself feel better simply by stating that a smaller portion of junk food isn’t that bad for you. Right? Good I’m glad we’re all agreed. It may just be easier to eat whatever you like and then couple it with exercise, that way you burn it all off while enjoying that lovely piece of well seasoned chicken. When I say exercise I mean a bit more than the walk to the bus stop and back.

I think you catch my drift…

I'm a Christian, Look UP At Me.

I remember listening to the radio a while ago one Sunday night. It was a show about dilemmas in which people would call the show and speak to the D.J about their problems; the D.J. would then put forward her take on the situation. One young lady called up with a dilemma relating to her spirituality. Her situation was that she was a born again Christian and had vowed not to have sex again until she was married. Unfortunately for her she had already fallen prey to the ‘temptations of the flesh’; in addition she mentioned that she still had strong urges to do it again. Interestingly enough what caught me was not the dilemma but what the D.J. said in passing. It was not something she emphasised but mentioned in relation to her own take on spirituality. She said something along the lines of ‘I am not a Christian because I don’t agree with the way some Christians behave’ – what did she mean by this I wonder. It was not mentioned in an ‘I don’t agree with what they believe in’ fashion but more of an ‘I’ve seen Christians and they don’t act very Christian like’. I, myself, am a Christian and I must admit that I understand what she means.

Lemme explain.

When I was younger I never use to go to church every Sunday and this was because my parents gave us a choice (later on they never gave us a choice but it was fun while it lasted!). I use to always feel bad or inferior when a friend of mine would say they went to church every Sunday, read their bible and prayed every night. The point I’m making here is; Does going to church make you more Christian than the next? I’m sure right now you’re shaking your head. Christianity isn’t about a title but more about your actions and feelings. Ok so there is a hypothetical being who doesn’t go to church or read the Bible everyday nor do they pray daily but yet they act politely, care about others and are generally compassionate for fellow human beings, they do not judge harshly nor do they perform any intentionally ‘evil’ act. There is this other hypothetical being however, who goes to church everyday, reads the Bible, prays daily and can quote a verse from every book of the Bible but is still prone to acting harshly towards others…

…Who is ‘more’ Christian?

I have heard about and seen people, Christians mainly, who tend to look down on others who may not call themselves Christian or who do not do the things that these Christians believe other Christians ought to do. Is this not a form of judgement?

Check out Wikipedia’s definition of a born again Christian:

“Many Christians who are "born again" in this sense deny that those without such an experience are true Christians.

The idea of being born again carries with it the theological idea that a Christian is a new creation, given a fresh start by the action of God, freed from a sinful past life and able to begin a new life in relationship with Christ via the Holy Spirit.”

That’s a beautiful saying there. I’m sure a lot of us would like to achieve this sort of serenity and oneness with the Lord and with ourselves. Hopefully many of us have. However, the point I want to highlight is the first sentence in the definition. This sort of ideology forms a hierarchy and when this happens we then revert back to a non Christian sort of thinking. If we are all equal in Gods eyes why would one Christian (a soldier of God) look down on another Christian (another soldier of God)? Are we not all here to promote the same message? Why would one messenger be more important than another? Furthermore, are Christians Christian because they want to be or are they Christian because they believe they will have a better chance of getting into heaven?

Are you now beginning to see the reasoning behind that D.J’s statement? In her personal life she had not seen Christian attitudes in the people who had labelled themselves Christians.

Many Christians, I find, are Christians because of the incentive ‘Do this and you will get that’. We are human after all; we do things for their rewards most of the time. However we are contradicting ourselves if we claim that we are all equal but yet spiritually place ourselves above others just because we are a born again.

It’s very hard not to judge one another spiritually but no one said being a Christian was easy!

A Piece Of Cake

I was strolling around in W.H.Smith when I noticed an unusual looking book. It had a black girl on the front; it was all grey and white with ‘A Piece Of Cake’ written in bright pink letters. This type of book falls outside my usual range so I had to be extra weary. I picked it up and read the blurb on the back (I had to make sure it was good, I wasn’t willing to waste £6.99 on a crappy disappointing book!).

It wasn’t crappy. I wasn’t disappointed.

'A Piece of Cake' written by Cupcake Brown is a story of a young girls struggle with growth in a world without parents or any sort of legit form of guidance. I suppose it can be called a Bildungsroman although it’s not fiction. I learnt a few things from it such as what certain drugs are, why they’re used and their repercussions - OK so not the best of things to know but learning is learning. ‘A Piece of Cake’ is a true encounter of Cupcake Brown’s life from age 11 to present. I won’t go into detail but I will give a brief summary.

At age 11 Cupcake Brown found her mum dead in her bedroom. Her mum had had an epileptic seizure and unpleasantly choked on her tongue. From here on in, things seemed to just go downhill. Taken away from their uncle, the only male figure her and her brother Larry knew, Cupcake and Larry were handed over to their biological father Mr Burns. Mr Burns who never paid child support or even saw his kids took them in with the assumption that a large trust fund settlement was waiting for him (somewhere around the amount of $50, 000). When this didn’t prove true he ushered them into a foster home run by a violent woman who was rumoured to have killed two of her other foster kids. With the foster system turning a blind eye, Cup suffered a copious amount of abuse at this foster home and decided her only other (safer) option was to run away. She encounters a lot of different people and is eventually led into the land of drugs, gangs, alcohol and prostitution. We follow her through her encounters for most of the book but what’s interesting is her remarks about God. There are moments in the book where she states that she doesn’t trust, believe or like God, after all, if there was a God why would He let all this happen to her? (I’m sure, if you admit to yourself, there have been times when this thought has crossed our minds...even though we do always revert back eventually.)

There comes a time where Cup is on the brink of death and decides to try this ‘talking to God’ thing. She simply says something along the lines of ‘If you help me, I’ll stop doing this’. Simple. God keeps His side of the bargain so does Cup. Here is just the beginning of her new found relationship with what she sometimes termed the 'higher power'. As the novel progresses she develops a stronger bond with God as he continues to help her through her desperate times of need.

While the book was a great read, there were sections which came across as slightly unrealistic and predictable. For example, there was a continuous section within the book where Cup would pray for something as small as plates and a TV stand and get it within a couple of days. Coincidence? Probably not. I’m sure you’ve heard the term ‘God works in mysterious ways’ but I wouldn’t mind having all my prayers answered within a couple of days, it just never seems to happen like that…

Nonetheless the book opens up an underground world, one I’m sure not many of you reading this have experienced. It isn’t just a drug addict living on the street sort of book but takes you on a roller coaster journey by showing us the good and bad. Her feelings and thoughts are intertwined into the narrative of the story making it a lot easier to understand and is also written in a very simplistic form.

‘A Piece of Cake’ is worth the read if you’re looking for something different. She ends the novel with one of the most inspirational quotes of the book.

“When God knows you’re going to battle, He sends his best warriors”

Enjoy!

So....What Now?

It seems like the issue about Shilpa Shetty has grown into a big debate. Now everyone wants to know about racism. Whenever the media are involved in an issue it suddenly becomes very important. Before the media picked it up, it was not at all cool to talk about the issue. I believe racism of this sort has been around for a very long time, in fact, ever since the process of colonisation but that's for another post.

The future prime minister, poor lad, has been ‘forced’ to speak on the matter. Well, what else can he say other than ‘this is very intolerable, we do not accept racism in this country’…

Well of course that’s how it SHOULD be, but is it?

WE know racism ISNT obsolete. And when I say ‘we’ I mean those who are of the ‘minority’. If you look at the meaning of that word ‘minority’ you will notice that it depicts connotations of ‘small’ , ‘marginal’, ‘alternative’ and they all connote ‘the outsider’. So, as long as the word ‘minority’ is used, those who fall into the ‘minority’ category will always be an outsider (...)

A friend of mine asked how I work in the office I'm currently in. Being the only black person I don’t tend to fit in with the others as much as they do with each other - and that's the truth. Why? It’s definitely NOT my colour but more the culture associated. While I do not have a noticeable Asian or African accent like Shilpa, there are still many cultural differences which tend to distance me from the other people in the office. They are not obvious differences but honestly, they are there. For example in Big Brother, Shilpa was criticised for cooking her chicken to long and Science in an episode before was criticised for cutting the rear end off a chicken. THESE are examples of cultural differences that are not so apparent first hand.

As for Big Brother, the culprits are allegedly bullying Shilpa simply because she has a different accent and name. Yea I’m sure a lot of you have been teased about your name just because it’s different. Either that or you’ve had a few people find it hard to pronounce. I admit, when I was young I use to cringe when they came to my name on the register at school. Now when I tell someone my name they say ‘o that’s an unusual name’ to which I reply ‘not in my country it isn’t’ then add a ‘mate’ if I'm feeling extra cockney.

The point I want to get to here is; are the culprits on Big Brother reflecting the general public? Are they not just saying what most people think?

I was discussing this with work colleagues (why they feel they should discuss it with me I don’t know, I can take a guess though) and one of them pointed this out. He said ‘Well unfortunately, the people in Big Brother reflect the general public’. He may have said it in passing but I picked up on it. He’s right to a certain extent. How many times have Black/Asian people out numbered the White British people in Big Brother? Then think of the proportion of Black/Asian people to White British people in the UK population. The same applies to anything but athletics and hip hop. I am also aware that it's not a simple divide of 'black' and 'white'. Maybe they’re (the Big Brother contestants) being racist but they are expressing their true opinions. They are saying what they think and I appreciate that. Why? Because I would personally prefer someone to tell me they’re racist so that I know what I’m getting myself into rather than make snide comments relating to my race or the culture associated.

So…what now? Because racism is now a cental issue, does that mean something will be done about it?

I don’t think so.

Climate Change Eh?

According to pessimistic environmentalist, the media and the government to a certain extent - we’re all gonna die!

Turn off your lights, turn off your TV’s, wear a jumper, don’t eat chocolates, walk to work do this don’t do that! Moan, moan, moan. Yea I know its all for a good cause but it’s a bit OTT don’t ya think?

So the next trend is now Global Warming (the caps are used to portray authority). Things need to change and they need to change fast, today if possible. Tony Blair was criticised for refusing to give up vacation flights because of global warming - click here to see the article and try to avoid the advert showing an overweight man shaking hair off his hairy chest (if you dont see it, count yourself lucky). So, he’s being criticised for not conforming to what may be the majority view and has been dubbed a hypocrite because of it. Of course he’s a hypocrite, he’s only speaking his mind and being realistic. He’s trying to fight the causes of global warming whilst taking flights while on vacation. So what’s he suppose to do? Swim?

I think once again, I’m missing something here.

I wonder whether the future is so doom and gloom. Are we really causing as much damage to the environment as they (media, government etc) make out? Or is this just another morale panic tactic to raise the price of everything in the name of ‘the environment’?

I heard quite a while ago that the Earth’s climate changes drastically every millions years or so due to the changing temperature of the sun, the details were vague so I decided to try and check it out a bit (I had time on my hands). This made sense to me. If I break it down, there was an Ice Age on Earth all those years ago and now there isn’t. So for this to happen the ice must have melted which means that there was a point in time where the sun was hot enough to melt the ice, is this not what’s happening now? Aren’t we just going through another of the Earth’s environmental cycle? I’m obviously not a scientist and haven’t done major research in this but it doesn’t stop me having an opinion.

No doubt, CO2 emissions are making things worse rather than better but its not the ONLY reason and some have claimed that it is not the MAJOR reason. Apparently there has been some data ‘fondling’ to make some cases appear a lot worse than it is. Of course the effects ARE worse now because of numerous reasons. Encouraging people to be more environmentally conscious is fine. I suppose we can wear a jumper or completely turn off the TV and not leave it on standby but when it comes to things like charging people for throwing away rubbish and not recycling, it’s not so fair and it becomes something else…maybe bullying. We should have a 'save the earth' day where we minimise C02 emissions as much as possible by not using public transport or cars and therefore, no work!

O well! The only message I’ll leave here is for you to make up your own mind whether to follow the trend or challenge it. Personally challenging it is a lot more fun.

Work Update

Just another short work update for those who are interested, even if it’s a tiny bit.

I spoke to my manager – or rather she spoke to me – about how long I will be in my current job. She told me that I would be here for at least a month so I suppose that’s till the beginning of February. As for beyond that well, she’s not too sure so I’m not sure. I’ve been looking on the intranet to see if there are any jobs available but the only one I think I can scrape through is one where the hours are between 11pm and 7:30 am. Now I can do those hours because I’m a night person anyway and plus I can avoid all the rush hour etc etc BUT no night life and obviously no night sleep. The closing date is today so it’s not like I got time to think about it. It’s either I want it or not…should I apply?...

Bliss

I was searching around on the internet and I found this poem called “The Island”. I’m not one for poems, I actually found them quite boring but this may be due to overanalysing them while at university. This one however, is lovely - the last line is the best:

The Island

If I had a ship,

I'd sail my ship,

I'd sail my ship

Through Eastern seas;

Down to a beach where the slow waves thunder-

The green curls over and the white falls under-

Boom! Boom! Boom!
On the sun-bright sand.

Then I'd leave my ship and I'd land,

And climb the steep white sand,

And climb to the trees,

The six dark trees,

The coco-nut trees on the cliff's green crown -

Hands and knees

To the coco-nut trees,

Face to the cliff as the stones patter down,

Up, up, up, staggering, stumbling,

Round the corner where the rock is crumbling,

Round this shoulder,

Over this boulder,

Up to the top where the six trees stand ....

And there I would rest, and lie,

My chin in my hands, and gaze

At the dazzle of sand below,

And the green waves curling slow,

And the grey-blue distant haze

Where the sea goes up to the sky....

And I'd say to myself as I looked so lazily down at the sea:

"There's nobody else in the world, and the world was made for me."

A.A. Milne

Lets Talk About Friends.

Happy New Year and all that.

I was reading an article off the internet about friendship. It turns out that someone has one million friends on their “MySpace” friends list. ONE MILLION FRIENDS? Wow now that is sad. Can you really relate to one million people enough to call them your friends? I don’t think so! A good 90% of that one million are probably what I call, “periphery friends”, those who are around but not really around if you know what I mean.

What is a friend? I like this definition made by the “Life Coach” Carole Ann Rice: “You don't have to be anyone other than yourself. Up, down, funny or sad, they just want to be around you. A good friend offers support, understands your character and how you tick and relishes it. They should be on hand to give you the odd reality check too.”

Having a friend doesn’t mean speaking to them everyday or every two days but knowing that when you need them, they’ll be there if they can. So when you break it down, how many REAL friends do you have? Probably not that many. Quality is more important than quantity, isn’t that what they always say? And I suppose it’s true, unless you’re having a house party then that’s when you need both. Init.

I also think we make friends with people who are similar to ourselves – note I said similar and not exactly alike. We connect with people we can relate too, or else, what would we talk about? My friend group consists of quite straight forward, kind hearted, funny with a certain level of Nigerian (if they’re from Nigeria) rudeness. I must admit I don’t have a wide selection of friends from all over the world but I’ll work on that I think.

Christmas

Another blog entry, I’m on a roll..

Christmas is a great time of year when everyone’s suppose to be happy, singing, clapping etc during the festive period. However, the build up is usually very stressful, but why?

Supposedly the happiest period of the year turns out to be one of the most stressful.

Most…no, it’s correct to say some of my friends aren’t getting gifts for anyone maybe ’cause trying to think of what to get is a stressful process, buying it is even worse! I’m getting gifts for my family but even that was hard. It was hard to think of what I wanted and it’s hard to think of what my family would want, so why bother? I suppose when someone says ‘what do you want for Christmas?’ they really mean ‘How can we negotiate what you want for Christmas’. It’s nice when the day comes and you’re handing people the gifts and you see that they’re happy with what you got them. It’s also nice to wait in anticipation to see what they got you, if anything.

However I fear that Christmas has become a sort of ‘buy the biggest and the best’ rather than just enjoy the company of your family or friends or whoever you spend your time with at Christmas. I know it’s just one day but it’s a big day just as Ramadan would be a big day for Muslims. It’s a day you’re suppose to be happy and the build up to it should be just as good. A lot of people always say ‘I hate the Christmas period’ - that shouldn’t be! Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you should hate everything…well not yet anyway. Don’t let the Christmas period bring you down, try to let it bring you up!

Today

A friend of mine asked me whether I ever update my blog. Thanks love I know you’re only asking because you’re really bored at work and you want something to do! Plus I don’t update as much because no one comments so I don’t know if you’re reading it or not. Good to know you are!

Today was/is quite depressing. I woke up this morning as I do almost every morning of the week now and was feeling really down, or slow, or depressed. I’m not sure which one or if it’s all of them. I guess I’m just tired I suppose but it’s not because I have to go to work everyday but it’s more because I have nothing to look forward too....only Christmas. Just going to work, sometimes going out on the weekends etc. I’ve done those things before I need something new and fresh. I reckon a holiday would be perfect but by the time I’ve organised everything with the people I want to go with, I probably wouldn’t go. So I was wondering whether I should go on my own or just take one person with me, someone reliable and willing to take a break as much as I am.

Someone at work said that she’s going to live in Sydney in January. I admire her, I’ve been meaning to do something like that as well. Maybe not live in Sydney or anything but go somewhere for a couple of months. I need to miss London in order to appreciate it a lot more. I believe you can’t really appreciate your life until you’ve seen some new things every couple of years or so, it’s a form of stimulation which I need/want…but where to go?

As for those interested in how my work life is going, well, its going I suppose. It’s a little stressful because it’s Christmas and everyone wants their money but other than that it’s fine. The hype I was on when I first started this job has subsided and now I’m just use to it. I’m happy I have it and I would go permanent if they asked me too but I doubt it right now. Things seem a little unsteady with the company structure or so I'm told....

A New Day.

Monday 4th December

I was going to write that after 5 weeks or whatever, I’ve never really felt tired or anything. Now, I’m feeling the toll of routine work. This is what I’ve dreading way before I even knew what I wanted to do. I have to wake up when I don’t feel like waking up, literally force myself out of bed and crawl to the bathroom. Even after a bath I don’t feel awake. I got bags under my eyes because I’m tired and I feel drained. What happened to those days when I could wake up at 12pm? Plus I think I’m contracting a cough…and don’t forget my hair…To make it worse, I tried to get in on time but annoyingly got in early and my manager wasn’t even there to see my good (albeit unintentional) act.

But I’m in the office now and the sun in shining. I feel better but not at my best which is better than nothing right? Its amazing what listening music can do for you.

This weekend I slept a whole night on Sat which I haven’t done in a long time which may the reason why I feel/felt tired, too much sleep.

I wonder what today will hold for me…hopefully something good...hopefully...

Hair Trouble!!!!!!!!

Today I decided, was going to be the day when I finally plucked up the courage to go and get my hair cut. So I woke up at 10am this morning, stood at the bus stop for about 5 minutes then decided I could walk to the hairdressers. I could get my days exercise while doing it as well so its all good. I got to the hairdressers now and I told them what I wanted…

Anyway to cut the long story short I basically feel like crap.

My hair that was once almost near the middle of my back is now shoulder length and I really don’t like it because it’s so FLAT! I wouldn’t expect guys to understand my feeling but women should get what I’m saying. Spoke to my friend today and she understood completely. I basically look like a wet rat or a European person after they have just washed their hair. It’s HORRIBLE!!!! I hate that’s its so much shorter than usual, and I now know why I’ve taken so long to get round to doing it. Instead of walking out the hairdressers feeling buff, I was walking around with my hood on, holding it down so the wind wouldn’t blow it off and show the hideous black tentacles that lie beneath. But OK OK, lemme just chill a minute…Its good because at least I’ve gotten rid of all my split ends and the fact that so much had to be taken off shows that my hair was in bad condition. Im gonna put my hair in extensions once this has puffed out and it looks a lil messy but at least Ive done it! Hopefully the rumours are true, that once you cut/trim your hair, it grows back nicer and thicker. I must admit, I would like my hair to be thicker rather than longer but right now, I dont think I have either!! No ones gonna see me this week so it’s good. All I will do is go to work and come home. Simple.

Hair is just LOOOONG and to make it worse, I’m craving…

Model Behaviour

When I go to work I sometimes end up reading magazines that we publish just simply to take up lunch break time. Within a certain magazine there has, for the past couple of weeks, been a section that relates to the issue of the programme ‘Make Me A Supermodel’ in which Jen Hunter was told that her legs were too ‘stocky’ for the catwalk. This is opposed to Marianne Berglund who was told she had a great body despite the fact that she was seriously underweight. Hunter is a size 12 whereas Berglund is a size zero. Both girls claim that they are satisfied with their sizes and that the media should leave their bodies alone. The issue here is really quite obvious. Health officials and people in general are claiming that the programme is portraying a negative image of the female body. By commending Berglund they are supposedly claiming that being a size zero is ideal. When I saw the picture of Berglund in a bathing suit-which I wish I could find to post on here-I instantly thought she looked way too thin. Almost like a skeleton and while they claimed she was the ‘ideal’ weight for modelling I wondered whether this was true. I’ve seen quite a few models in the magazines I've read and not many of them are as skinny as Berglund, then again none of them are as ‘big’ as Hunter either.

Berglund looks unhealthy and so does Hunter to a certain extent. Now size 12 is an OK weight in the ‘normal’ world and I think people have backed Hunter much more than they have Berglund. But I wonder whether they are doing this just to look good. Lemme ask a question:

If there were pictures of overweight models in bikini’s etc would it be as appealing?

I think in all honesty the answer would probably be NO. Even though we see a normal sized person on a model programme we know that, in reality she would be have a hard time getting work. We’re so use to seeing skinny models that if this were to change, it would not work as well.

I don’t know many women who would prefer an overweight male model advertising jeans as opposed to a well toned model. Only thing is, the men usually look healthy not skinny and scrawny. Instead of encouraging fat or thin models how about they encourage TONED models. Those that promote a healthy lifestyle and look good at the same time. I don’t mean women who have biceps like men or anything that extreme but I think you catch my drift. Does it matter anyway? Seems like things are airbrushed and adjusted so much that you’d probably find it hard to recognise the model if you saw them in real life!

I’m not against skinny models simply because it’s up to them to do what they want to do with their bodies. I think it’s up to the viewer to decide whether they look to these people as role models or not. I understand that being overweight breeds negative associations to do with laziness, a sedentary lifestyle and greediness but if you feel comfortable in your own skin then people will love you for it. I know it’s easier said than done and at times I do not feel comfortable in my own skin but I will learn too. I mean, I don’t think I have a reason NOT too. As long as being a little bigger doesn’t seriously affect your health then go for it!

Being skinny is not simply the tool needed to become a model. You also need to have the body shape for it so for those who feel they can stop eating and hopefully have a chance in the modelling world, well, have a long think first to see if God made you suitable.

A Short Update

So I’ve been working for 3 weeks at my new place which has been good so far. This week I’ve been a bit sick but still managed to drag myself into work only to find myself doing nothing of great importance. I still haven’t been trained properly which is starting to get to me because work still needs to be done. My manager is always so busy running between two buildings and people always keep trying to get in contact with her so she rarely has time to train me. I can hardly hold her down! Usually I would be a bit pissed about this but I like my manager and we get on so well but I think that if I’m not trained next week I may have to tell her to actually sit down and do it. Then again, she did tell me that next week IS usually their busiest week. To make things worse I need to tie up any loose ends (and there are a lot) that the guy who was there before me hadn’t done. So I get people calling me up and asking for things I have no idea about.

Anyway, all will still be well.

I do like working there though. The people are alright and the environment is nice (especially because I can occasionally get away with writing emails to my peeps haha!). I went to some gathering thing that my manager invited me too. I didn’t want to go but I thought I should just to see what its like. I had an ok time to be honest and my manager said I stayed longer than she thought I would which is good. At least she now thinks that I’m willing to go to social gatherings and all.

I would like to get my manager to take me around the buildings and show me how the magazines are actually put together, how the radio and T.V. stations work and who writes the columns in the magazine. She said she would so hopefully she will, actually, I KNOW she will, I wont let her forget!

I eventually want to start writing some columns for some of the magazines they publish, but all in good time…

Three stories

Children are growing up too fast!

According to a study made by very interesting various people children are growing up way too fast, much faster than any adult can keep up with. I think the terminology is ‘age compression’ (they could have thought of a better title, but hey, that’s me). Apparently children stop believing in the tooth fairy and all that by the age of four whereas their parents stopped believing in such things around the age of ten. So why are our children growing up “too fast”? I suppose the answer is probably quite easy. There are loads of options around now especially with the internet where children can learn a lot of life skills without proper interaction! Also a lot of ‘young’ kids have older brothers and sisters so they learn from them as well.

We usually see the negative sides of kids growing too fast such as drug dealing etc but I don’t reckon it’s a completely bad thing. In a world where everything is happening yesterday I’m not surprised to find that they HAVE to grow up sooner or be left behind. In the UK you chose the direction of your life by the time you’re 15 (with the year 9 options). Of course you can change your mind like I did but essentially that’s what they’re asking you to do.

On the other hand though, if I look at it from a cynical point of view, it can also be a bad trend. Children and everyone else are more susceptible to marketing and the media. Kids now want ipods for xmas not a Barbie doll, they want laptops not desk computers, everything’s going technology crazy! And they only want these things because they see it on T.V. or their friends have it. But ‘age compression’ is not just limited to technology. Children are now having children and that’s where the negative connotations of growing too fast lie. Can they handle the responsibilities of adulthood when they’re children?

But is it the children’s fault?

This leads into the next story:

Girl diagnosed with depression.

I saw an article in a newspaper about a girl who was diagnosed with depression at the age of four. Now her mum thought that depression was an adult psychological ‘disease’ but it seems this has proved her wrong. The girl became depressed because she was unable to attend the school her friends attended - they got in, she didn’t.

I don’t understand why she would be diagnosed with depression because of this. Have there not been times when we want something so bad and can’t get it? Does that mean we should be diagnosed with depression too? I mean, COME ON! What’s going on here? Now the girl knows what depression is at the age of four, she’s probably going to be depressed more often simply because it’s in the back of her mind. The girl is upset, that’s all it is. We all get upset from time to time, it’s healthy and it’s what helps us grow. I feel sorry for her mum because she now has to keep her child happy unless she may get ‘depressed’ again…it’s ridiculous! Kids ARE growing up too fast but what choice do they have?

Choice leads me onto the third story:

Children to stay in school till the age of 18?

It has been proposed that kids should have to go to school up until the age of 18. This is a tough one, at first I thought it was a great idea but now I’m not too sure. I mean, forcing children to go to school increases competition for those who REALLY want to go onto FE or HE. This in turn will force children to grow even faster as parents try to teach their children even more complicated things to evade the competition as much as possible. For those who go because they have too, they may end up corrupting the more genuine ones. Another negative association is the fact that college is not for everyone. Some people are good academically and some are good practically so how do they cater to both? I reckon they should introduce a lot more practical aspects within learning, that way, they will have the skills they need when applying for jobs and they all win in the end.

Sometimes I wonder why they proposed this, are we getting dumber? The answer is probably ‘Yes’ simply because everything is done for us now. Give me homework and I’ll just pop on the net and type it all in Google then copy and paste, add a few ‘ands’ and thes’ maybe use a different word here and there…simple!

‘On the other hand’

Keeping children in education till the age of 18 keeps them in check. It means that kids stay kids a lot longer so I suppose it could help dampen this ‘age compression’ thing. It means that kids learn more than they would had they dropped out at 16 and it eventually MAY equal better job opportunities for them (although not guaranteed as I know), so they end up winning in the end.

O well, just gotta wait and see what happens!