Voyage In The Sun

Once again I’ve been slacking, I haven’t updated in a little while. However this week I have been busy because I’m leaving for Greece tomorrow, just for a week, not long, not long enough actually but it's better than nothing I suppose.

I haven’t packed yet and I’ve got one or two things to sort out. I’m sure I’ll forget something but like my friends mum said ‘Whatever you forget, someone else will have’. I sure hope so, nothing worse than forgetting something vital and being stuck for a week without it.

I’ve heard a few things about Greece especially regarding fires because it’s been so hot out there. I mean, I know it’s supposed to make sense and this may seem like a silly question but what is the correlation between the temperature being so hot and fires? I mean, I can’t imagine a fire just suddenly starting because the sun’s out. This may seem silly but I live in London, we really don’t have that problem here. Well anyway, with that news, I’m dreading the heat. I’ll probably spend most of my days eating when I’m not sleeping and sleeping when I’m not eating or partying when I’m not doing either!

My first holiday in a while so it should be fun.

Flooding

I’m sure a lot of you have heard a lot about the amount of flooding here in the UK. I must say, it’s pretty ironic because just a few months ago they were complaining about a drought, enough to impose a hose pipe ban. I suppose the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ has reached a whole new level. It’s sad to see so many people leave their homes because of flooding but what’s worse is the fact that people are without drinking water.

Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink.

Seeing it on TV is one thing but it brought it all home for me when I visited OHara’s blog and she had actual pictures from her window. It's like they built the houses in the middle of a stream!Over here in London the water level is being kept under control and the flood barriers are holding out but the rain hasn’t stopped falling so there is still a risk.

At The Bus Stop

Why do things like this always happen to me?

A couple of days ago I was on my way to central London, early morning around 9am. I was standing at the bus stop brooding over how long the bus was taking when this woman with a hat, jacket and some track suit bottoms started walking in my direction. Now the bus stop was half full so before she could reach me she had to walk past a few people. She had a bottle of…something in her hand, I don’t know what it was but it didn’t look like anything alcoholic. I turned from her to the direction the bus was suppose to come from, I thought she’d walk past me like she was doing to everyone else. All of a sudden she started talking to me – it’s always me that people feel the need to ask directions or the confused people like to talk to for some strange reason – she said something about a large screw driver in New Cross that attacked her. At this point I was thinking ‘I really haven’t got time for this’ even though I was waiting at the bus stop, I was also praying she wouldn’t spill any of her drink on my clothes. She tried to show me the marks on her hand, I instinctively looked and just kept nodding and turning away praying for the bus to come. Two buses did come but neither were for me. At this point people were staring at us, I hate when people do that, what’s the use in staring? It doesn’t help it actually makes things worse.

I really wanted her to stop talking to me so I said ‘Well why don’t you go to the police?’ hoping that she would think that was a good idea and be on her way, instead she said they wouldn’t believe her. At that point I just stopped responding, I really didn’t want to provoke her and my eye was on the open bottle all the time. She started talking some more about something or another but I really couldn’t concentrate and this bus was getting on my nerves because it was taking FOREVER. This woman next to me kept going on and on about something (the screw driver?) and then she said ‘come on, lets go’. I looked at her and just calmly said I had somewhere I had to be so I couldn’t go with her hence the reason I’m standing here at this bus stop. She looked me over and started mumbling about the Pukka pad I was holding, I just nodded and looked away, hoping she would get the hint.

Another woman was walking past us and she went to ask her for a cigarette. I thought I was free and I was still wondering where the hell this bus was. Then she came back to me as if we were having a really important conversation. I stopped nodding and responding but I kept up the constant looks for the bus and I think she got the hint because eventually she said bye and left.

Two minutes after that, the bus came.

A Smoke-Free View

I KNEW there was something big happening in London that I didn't cover. England has now banned smoking in enclosed spaces. They call it a smoke-free England but it’s more like smoke-less. We still have a lot of smog and people can still smoke just not in clubs, pubs or public buildings. I went out last Saturday or so and I must admit it was odd (and great) to have the club smoke-free – well almost, with the kind of clubs I got to, people don’t tend to abide by the rules until they’ve been caught at least once. Anyway I should say it was nice to have the club mostly smokeless. My hair didn’t smell of smoke and my clothes didn’t either, not too much anyway.

I went onto the Smoke Free England website to check it out. It just basically lists the rules and regulations regarding business, community and individuals. It also lists the effects of smoking on the smoker and others which I’m sure ALL smokers (and others) know about already. The fines are quite high actually mostly to businesses or owners of the smoke-free property - £2500 is the highest.

People smoking never really bothered me. I have few friends that smoke so I’m rarely around smokers often. What does bother me however, is the amount of times smokers at work go for a ‘cigarette breaks’. Why the hell should they be allowed to take timeout to go kill themselves a bit more when you’ve got people like myself who DON’T smoke sitting at the computer working? Can I get a ‘snack break’ where I go get some snacks from the shop or a ‘can’t be bothered break’ where I just can’t be bothered to work for 10 mins or so? Giving employees the chance to go on cig breaks is more of an encouragment than anything else.

The ban will hopefully encourage more people to give up smoking. I’m sure it’s not easy and we have a lot of company’s exploiting smokers with their chewing gums and patches when all they really need is Will power. You decided to start smoking and you can also decide not to. For the rest of us, we can only hope to enjoy a slightly cleaner air.

All Work And No Play

I’ve just spent 11 hours of my life shopping in west end. Now this may seem like I’m some sort of shoppaholic but I’m the opposite. I hate shopping but you know, sometimes it has to be done. The problem with me and my shopping habits is that I tend to leave major gaps in between so that I end up spending for hours when I AM forced to do it.

It’s a chore not a hobby, it isn’t fun, it’s tiring.

Yes, contrary to popular belief (AK) there are SOME women who actually hate shopping. There, I said it. You can say I’m lying if you want but I speak the truth. We are not all controlled by ‘70% off’ sales in Miss Selfridges and Topshop or by a famous person's new clothing line which has just been launched. Why, in the world, would I go crazy over spending my own money? It’s not just the money, it’s trying on clothes, looking for the best bargains etc. I’m tired just writing about it.

Today my friend and I decided to leave extra early. We left at 9am to get to west in good time to beat the crowds. In my mind I was hoping to buy what I needed and be out of there by 12 before the lunch crew mobbed the stores. Well, as you can imagine, it didn’t exactly work out like that. By 12 we weren’t even one quarter into our little shopping spree and when lunch time struck the place was swarming with people and yes, that included (Shock! Shock! Horror! Horror!) MEN as well! I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Anyway on and on the shopping spree went and on and on the time flew. I started to become quite agitated around 4pm about the time my feet started hurting and the bag in my hand started to weigh me down. We had eaten and I was tired, I wanted to go home but I pushed myself because I knew that if I didn’t finish this here, I would have to come back another day and I really didn’t want that. In the end, after 11 and a half hours – started at 10am or so, got home at 9:30 – I still didn’t manage to get all I wanted. I’m not going back anytime soon though, I guess I just have to leave it for a little while.

This is the agony I refer to as, shopping.

Has It Been That Long…?

Cor blimey it really HAS been that long hasn’t it? I’ve been busy lately and quite lazy at the same time. Everyday I plan to update my blog and everyday the time flies by, funny it never seemed to fly by when I was at work. While I haven’t had time to update my blog, I also haven’t had time to check on others as well. I apologise for that and I know I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Rest assured, even if I don’t update my blog, I’ll be reading yours.

Anyway over here in London we seem to be in a great state of depression. Right now as I look out the window I see grey skies ready to burst open at any moment. I wonder if we’re gonna have a summer this year. Seems like the ‘April showers’ have come in June and the summer months will come in September/October.

Hope the weathers better in other areas.

Hey! Big Spender

I was snooping around the Guardian website again….I think the Guardian website is one of those sites I don’t want to like but do anyway.

I was reading an article about ‘Britain’s Top Bosses’ i.e. CEO’s and all the other top dogs. I say ‘top dogs’ because they all seem to be men…well, most anyway. I’m not hating I just think I’m stating a fact…actually, put me down, I am hating.

I don’t usually read the whole article because they tend to be long winded and even the simplest subject can be dragged on for 40 paragraphs or so, but I was genuinely interested in this so I read the whole thing through. The author, columnist or whatever was basically stating more of an opinion than fact, although facts were thrown in here and there. She was (rightly) stating her opinion about top dogs who earn major bonus’ off the backs of hard workers such as you and I. They enter an already established company to make changes and are offered millions in reward even if they do close to nothing. The comments below the article point out that it’s not really about the money but power which, quite disturbingly makes the mentality of money hungry millionaire CEO close to that of a psychopath. Money is power in the real world and if you have money, you definitely have power. That’s life.

This article was clearly a ‘hater’s’ article and I was ready to say ‘Here! Here! My dear!’ but before I did I thought about what I would do if I was in the position of CEO. Wouldn’t I do the same? Wouldn’t I try to haggle as much money out of the deal as I can? This world has made people so money hungry, morality is no longer the most abundant aspect in people’s thoughts. Cynical you may say but also quite realistic I think.

Money hungry CEO’s want to be successful, they want to beat their rivals and if it means earning 10mill as opposed to only 2mill then so be it. When I was young…er, I use to hate on the rich. Why did they get to have all the luxury while I sat in a rented apartment in what was/is deemed on of the worse areas of London? It wasn’t fair, aren’t we suppose to be all equal? I felt much better when I read stories of how the rich fall, how their marriages fail etc It just proved to me that they WERE human.

My thoughts about the rich now is simply that most worked for what they have and why should they feel guilty about it? I’m well aware that some paths are easier for some than others, it just shows in the TYPE of people who are ‘at the top’ but capitalism is like that. Some will benefit while others – a lot more others – lose out. It’s not fair but if you don’t like it, you are more than welcome to be one of those who benefit instead of the one who loses out.

Have you seen...?

Have you seen our 2012 olympic logo? Click here to have a look.

A lot of people think it’s hideous and I can’t say I blame them. It’s a little bright and a little messy for something that took millions....sorry thousands of pounds to produce. I’m sure a bunch of men sat around a table trying hard to think up a logo they felt described London, figures they would come up with this. I thought London prides itself on diversity and multiculturalism, this logo doesn’t represent that. For one, it’s all pink which makes my eyes hurt, I actually have to squint to look at it. I don’t even know how to describe it…Reminds me of maths actually, finding angles and stuff like that.

I do what they do in the movies and tilt my head to the side but I STILL don’t get it…

Edit:

I've just read that the logo is suppose to say '2012'. '20' up top and '12' down bottom. I can see it, doesnt make me like it more though...

Mid - Life Crisis

My birthday's almost here and I’m going to be 23. I really don’t like that age, it’s too old. I’m scared of getting old. I know you’re probably going to say “23? You’re still a baby!” which means you really don’t understand what I’m going through…23 is not young! Yes, I know there’s nothing I can do about it except stop my aging of course but I’m not gonna do that, especially because I haven’t finished what I’m suppose to do here on earth. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here on earth and this is why 23 is way, way, way too old. Time just keeps ticking away.

I’m too young to have a mid-life crisis you may say, but yet here I am, having one.

There’s a point in your life where you wished you were older, then there’s the point where you’re happy with your age, say around 18 or so, then there comes a point where you think you’re getting too old (that’s me), then you just accept that you’re old, maybe around 50 or so…!

I hate the fact that three of my friends are younger than me (and that includes you AK-man!). I think my main issue is that I’m not where I really want to be and times running out. I haven’t got all I thought I’d have. I remember when I was in primary school, around the age of 10 or so saying to my friends “By the time I’m 18 I’ll have moved out, have a great job blah de blah blah” By the time I was 18 I was doing the opposite. Not a problem though, at least I got me some A –Levels even if the grades weren’t the best. I got an A in Ethics if that counts for anything….which I doubt it does.

I digress.

The term ‘age ‘aint’ nothing but a number’ really doesn’t mean jack to me. I smile when people say that, I nod, but I don’t believe it. I think age is a lot more than a number, why do you think it counts so much? People just say that to make their situation easier to deal with. The saying makes you feel better, but I think deep down we all know the dreadful truth…

Of course I will celebrate my day of birth, after all it’s a gift and I should appreciate it but the fact that I’m getting older and older always lurks in the back of my mind…

Today, Friday the 1st of June.

June is my month, it was the month I was born in and it’s a great month because it’s supposed to be summery. I look outside the window and apart from the building they’re demolishing opposite, everything looks pretty, nice. The suns not out – well, at least I can’t see it – but it’s bright and that’s enough for me. Oops I just yawned so maybe it isn’t!

At the moment I’m job hunting. It’s really difficult job hunting while working. I mean I had an interview on Wednesday or something and it was scheduled for the morning so I asked the manager ‘Can I have the morning off?’ he said well as long as you’re sure you have got so and so done by the deadline, you can have it off, something like that. Now he KNOWS I can’t get it done by the deadline because I’ve never done it before, I’m the assistant not the manager. So anyway I had to re-schedule the interview for 6pm that evening which is after work. I was knackered by the time I had to go to the interview and I was practically worn down from a ‘hard days work’ but not as worn as the interviewer. Now she was KNACKERED! She even told me she really didn’t feel like doing the interview and I really felt like saying ’you and me both love’. Anyway the interview went well but I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad interview where I didn’t know what I was talking about anyway. But I’m a realist so I’m well aware that I can still be turned down even if we did speak about Jordan, Christina Aguilera, X-factor, Pop idol and other commercial subjects. It wasn’t even like an interview. Maybe because she was tired, I wonder whether that’s a good or bad thing actually…

I’ve been really lazy with my job hunting though. Whereas everyday I would go home and search on the internet for new roles, I’ve gone home and done some reading or played the Wii. Sonic or Base ball. I really hurt my arm playing baseball actually, I must have pulled something. I just don’t know why I’ve run out of steam. Every time an agency calls me to inform me of a job they feel I would be good for, I also say yea! Put me forward! without really thinking of what the job entails. 9 times of 10 they never get back to me though. I’m sure I’ll find something soon, hopefully the something will be high paid with minimum amount of work...there's no harm in wishful thinking is there? Actually, there is but I wont go into that.

Why Do I Feel Good Today?

I really don’t know. Maybe it’s because it’s my dads birthday, maybe because it’s Friday, maybe because the suns shining…I’m sure the feeling will pass by 2pm or maybe even 12pm but for now, I’m happy!

Lots of traffic on the roads coming to work today, much more than usual for central London I had to eventually jump off the bus and power walk which was hard with all the slow walkers getting in my way. Anyway needless to say, I was late for work but not too late. Got an email from a friend that made me smile…just added to the good feeling.

I watched a documentary yesterday called “Is It ‘Cos I Is Black?” where three men – a white man, a Muslim man and a young white man in a wheelchair – decided to test the level of ‘Political Correctness’ within the general public. They did this by doing the same tasks to see who would get the most help or who could get away with what. It was a funny show especially when the Muslim man thought he’d really take the piss and ask for LEFT-HANDED toilet roll. He used the excuse that Muslim people do not wipe themselves with their right hand - Lol there’s a Nigerian trait in there me thinks. The shop assistant was glad to help the Muslim guy, the white man got little or no help but the guy in the wheelchair got the most help out of all three.

There was another test in which each of them would sit at a restaurant table and ask the waiter if they could have the chef cook their OWN meat which they had just purchased from the supermarket. The guy in the wheelchair couldn’t even access the restaurant simply because the disabled facility were unavailable due to building work. The white man couldn’t get the waiter to agree to cook the meat for him. The Muslim man however used the excuse that since the restaurant didn’t have Halal meat he would appreciate it if they cooked his own meat which IS Halal. Funnily enough a lot of the waiters didn’t actually know what Halal was or what he was even talking about! I don’t blame them though, the place where the tests were taken were in places such as Newcastle and other areas that are far less diverse than London.

Muslim man won the challenge.

Third was an ‘employment’ challenge where all three men applied for the same graduate jobs with similar fictional CV’s, the only difference being the name and off course the disability in the case of the guy in the wheelchair. The white man got 40 replies back asking for interviews whereas the Muslim and the guy in the wheelchair got about 14 and 7 respectively. It was actually expected that the Muslim man would win the challenge, but he didn’t. Never mind, maybe next time.

Of course I should be shocked and appalled that the Muslim and wheelchair guy didn’t get half as many replies back...but I’m not. Companies look for candidates who may suit their company/deparmental culture. If you are Asian/black/white whatever and they don’t feel you would be appropriate within that particular department or the company as a whole, they wouldn’t bother ask you for an interview. I work in a ‘lads mag’ office where the people here are predominantly white males, some females who are also white and me, the only black girl who isn’t a ‘work experience’ person. Some can say that is racially biased but I don’t believe it is. The lads mag I work for reflects a drinking, football crazy, hooligan almost sort of culture. There are exceptions to the rule (there always is) but this sort of culture is usually lived by white males. If someone is living the culture of the magazine it only makes sense to employ them. Nothing can be better in an interview for a magazine than ‘I live what you write about’. The same applies to the rest of the magazine section of this company. Take a look at some of the pictures in top magazines in the UK and you’d be practically looking at the workforce (minus the skinny models tho!). This is not only particular to white dominated magazines. I’m sure black hair magazines have a predominantly black workforce.

The show was interesting, it had more tests than I have put down here but it didn’t really tell me much except for the fact that people pity someone in a wheelchair when face-to-face, a white man can get more interviews than any other and a Muslim man has a case when arguing for left handed toilet roll. It lacked a conclusion as to what procedures can be taken to erase forms of discrimination on any grounds. Discrimination laws can only help so much, most are very vague and hard to prove. The programme wasn’t very educational but it was interesting to watch!

Poor Maddy

I wonder how the media decides what’s important and what isn’t. How do they choose who gets what coverage and to what extent I wonder.

If you live in the UK or Portugal you’ve probably heard about the disappearance of Madeleine who was abducted from her bed while she slept, she was 4 years old. Where were her parents I hear you ask? Well, they were having dinner in a restaurant near by. In their defence they were checking up on Maddy and her YOUNGER twin brother and sister on regular intervals. I suppose if you leave three kids under the age of 4 in a hotel bedroom, regular check-ups should be enough right?

WRONG!

This is like some form of celebrity kidnapping. It’s famous! There’s even a fund towards the event, I’m not too sure what it’s for though or where the money is going too. I suppose I can research it…I suppose…

Poor Maddy, God knows where she is. As parents they are more than responsible for the protection of their child. How could you possibly leave your 3 children without any form of guidance in a HOTEL room in a FOREIGN country?!?!?? Let’s exclude the fact of the kidnapping. What if they hurt themselves? What if one of them woke up and decided that they want to stick something in an electricity socket? O, I could go on….

I know parents can make mistakes and I can understand the desire to have a break just so they can spend time together but that is what baby sitters are for!

My sympathies lie with the little girl who has had to suffer for her older, seemingly smarter parents who may have cost her her life.

I suppose common sense isn’t so common.

EDIT:

I just found this article, the comments, well most of them, reflect my views so it's must read:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,2082507,00.html

10 Things You Wish You Didn't Have To Do

1. Take a poo – How inconvenient is this? You never know which way it’s gonna go until you get there…

2. Take a bath – Absolutely necessary by the way! But still annoying simply because it involves effort

3. Chores – Ugh man don’t get me started! But the house has gotta get clean somehow

4. Wake up to the sound of the alarm clock – I’m use to that now but I really wish I didn’t have to do that

5. Look after your body and watch what you eat – Some people don’t ‘Do’ this anyway. Too much effort, can’t say I blame them…them of course, not me heh…

6. Work with people you don’t really have anything in common with – This may be a factor because I’m at work at the moment but still I know how much more fun work would be if my friends were here

7. Take public transport – I just wont let this go…I’m sorry, I hate the bus

8. Share – We all share, whether it’s with siblings or sharing the road with other drivers. We all do it, and it’s a pain especially when we DON’T want to share

9. Pay Taxes – I worked for my money so I should be able to keep it…ALL of it!

10. I’ll leave this one open….

The West Can Never Just ‘Get Over It’

Well those of us in the UK know that Mr Blair is set to leave Labour sometime in the future. I heard it was going to be next week but then again, that was from a newspaper so it’s probably in the next 3 months or something.

Anywho, right now there’s an electoral poll which could lead to the independence of Scotland from Britain. Boo Hoo. What’s funny is that Gordon Brown, the proposed next in line to succeed Mr Blair, is Scottish! Wonder how this is gonna work….

My point really has nothing to do with that but with this line in the article:

“Labour is expected to suffer heavy losses in the elections to local councils, the Scottish parliament and Welsh assembly because of discontent over the Iraq war”

Ugh that WAR again! Yes everyone hates labour because of the war. A war that happened, how many years ago? No, seriously, how many years has it been? I’m not saying it should be brushed over but please, stop penalising someone who may have made a mistake. People make mistakes sometimes don’t they? And while this mistake is a bigger one than normal – that is to say you believe it IS a mistake, it’s done now. No one can turn back time un/fortunately. They made a decision based on evidence they believed to be true. They believed they were protecting their nation, their people, themselves even and can you blame them? Wouldn't we all do anything to preserve our lives? Does anyone know what would have happened 10 years from now if the war didn’t go ahead? I suppose not. That’s what happens with decisions; it could go either way. Time to focus on the future seeing as the past is already lived.

Man I don’t think I could ever rule the country. My ways are just too primitive!

Anyway I better get back to work.

Have a nice day!

T

Tuesday.

I woke up this morning and the sun was rising and I said:

‘Wow this world is beautiful’.

I Cannot Express...

The anger I felt on my way to work today. All was well when I squeezed myself onto the bus. Some stupid man pushed me aside so he could get on first. Usually I wouldn’t let that slide but I did this time. So on we go to our various destinations then, a few minutes later, we hit a COMPLETE stand still. We literally DIDN’T move. As expected people started making their way off the bus, mumbling, kissing their teeth blah blah. I couldn’t move, I was too angry for all that. I just sat there (yes I managed to find a seat) staring. I could have gotten off the bus and walked but it would have been a walk from Elephant and Castle to Oxford Street (it’s a long way), I wasn’t feeling that; wasn’t feeling that at all. So there I sat. This guy next to me kept looking my way, I silently prayed he wouldn’t try talking to me because I really wasn’t in the mood (I rarely am).

Funny thing was, when we got to Piccadilly Circus, despite all the traffic we previously experienced, I looked out the window to see a man in a blue shirt jog into a coffee shop. I looked at the drivers’ seat to see that no one was there. The bus driver decided to stop at a coffee shop to purchase some coffee!!!!! This was a joke, I had to laugh, it was funny. It didn’t matter anyway, I was already late.

Anyway all in all I was about 45mins late for work. What usually is a 30 – 45 minute journey turned in an hour and a half!

I can tell this is going to be a great day.

Doc, I’ll Have A Breast Enlargement Please

People say money can’t buy you happiness but isn’t that what poor people say to make themselves feel better? I mean, if I think clearly about this I would say that if I had money I would spend on myself and the people I care about. The basis of that happiness would be the fact that I can afford to make myself and those around me happy, or at least happier than they are now.

So since plastic surgery is quite an expensive operation and people go through with it surely it can’t be such a bad thing? We all live to increase our happiness and if a wo/man decides to augment their body in some way because it would make them happy then, why not?

I know some may argue that it’s because God made you the way you are and you should be happy about it but that’s just like saying to someone with a major ailment should be happy because that’s how God intended it. Some people suffer major psychological discomfort from having a part of their body which they feel could and should be changed.

So what’s wrong with plastic surgery?

For one, the process is just plain nasty. If you’ve ever actually seen someone go through the process of a face lift, lipo suction or the like you would know what I’m talking about. Only then did I realise that humans really are pieces of meat; the outside is definitely better looking than the inside….trust me!

Second, there is great risk not only to your general health but your appearance as well. Have you seen plastic surgery mis-haps? Big lips, lop-sided breasts? Plastic surgery isn’t something you can just wipe off like make-up if you don’t like it. It’s serious business!

Third, our bodys change as we age. Can you imagine an old woman with sagging skin and pert breasts? How odd would that look?

Also what type of example are they setting for the younger generation? That if the outside isn’t how you want it to be just pop under the knife and change it? Can you see what type of slippery slope we’re heading towards here? Scary thought.

Nah, I don’t want to take risks with my already perfect body. It may not be physically perfect but it keeps me alive and I can move and breathe freely so it’s perfect enough for me. In that case doc, I think I’ll pass on that breast enlargement.

Eat Fresh

I can’t log onto our company intranet at the moment, they changed something or another so I need to get ‘permission’ to have access to it. So, I thought I’d just ramble.

I had two days off yesterday and the day before from work (three days off in 6 months!) and now I’m back here again. I realised that I should have really asked to take the whole week off – two days to get use to having some free time and then the rest 3 days to chill, then the weekend which doesn’t count as days off ‘cuz everyone gets those days off.

When I woke up today I wanted to cry, my eyes didn’t want to open, I just wanted to sleep longer, just a little longer. I forced myself up and went into the bath which woke me up a bit. Had a bit of spare time (10mins) so spent that lying down wishing I could stay in bed.

Funnily enough the only thing I look forward to at work is subway. It amazes me how food can motivate me. I also have my moments of obsession. Before it was McDonalds everyday, then it was tasteless pasta from Sainsbury’s, then a jalapeno chicken wrap from Pret and now subway. Yes I’m going to get subway today but haven’t decided on exactly what yet.

Untitled.

I read an article on the Guardian website a few days ago called ‘Never Forget’; you can have a read by clicking here

You could probably tell from the 8th word what this article is about. Yep, it’s about the slave trade and the holocaust (mainly the holocaust because the author is Jewish). The ‘never forget’ is in reference to the present: never forget what ‘they’ did to us or our people in the past. A lot of people – black, white, Asian – feel anger towards what happened during the slave trade and the holocaust but really, what else can they feel other than apologetic?

If you read up to the second paragraph it highlights a very common point ‘I wasn’t around then and it’s absolutely nothing to do with me’. First part may be true, second part, hmmm, arguable.

I have learnt a lot about the slave trade, how it came about, the process of colonisation and while learning was insightful, it was also enough to make you resentful. But why resent people now for what happened in the past? If we keep doing this will we ever move on? We have days such as Yom HaShoah and black history month to help us remember a past which has affected how we live today shouldn’t we learn from it? Or should we just use it as a tool to get back as those who truthfully, never had a direct hand in what happened?

I see the authors’ point of view, he wants recognition, he wants people to feel ashamed, and he wants them to be horrified at what happened. Not everyone is going to fit this category but for those who do, they can only recognise, feel ashamed and horrified for so long. They can teach their kids and THEY can only feel ashamed and horrified for so long. Yes never forget but also move on.

What makes me angry, upset, ashamed and horrified is the fact that some of the beliefs during the slave trade crop up in the present. I have had company’s ask for a picture to accompany the application form; why? The ideology that black men/women are inferior to white men/women still exists. O yea sure no one comes right out and says it but it’s still around, you only need to look at statistics for that. As a matter of fact, just use your eyes.

The ‘blame’ doesn’t just lie between black and white. There are black ‘groups’ who dislike other black ‘groups’ due to historical events. Forgiveness is a two way act. If the ancestors of the slave owners were to apologise how can we forgive them when we can’t even forgive each other? Sad.

In comparison to the past there is no doubt; things are getting better, we’re all becoming an equal people but there is still a very very long way to go before we achieve even a hint of equality, and this lies on both sides of the ‘race’ line. We need to change the underlying ideologies, get them completely out of the system. There would be no need to have regulations such as the Race Relations Act or the need to use the ‘race card’. These things are still around so as I’ve said before, there’s still a long way to go.

One comment made by someone called ‘WheatFromChaff’ on the Guardian website remained with me and sums up my point:

“History is a good servant, but a poor master. People should learn the lessons of history, not become enslaved by them.”

Amen to that.

I've Been Tagged!....Damnit...

Ok so I've been tagged by my good friend AK-Man. I did see I was tagged before my last post but I thought that if I ignore it, it'll go away...as with most of my problems, it never does.. Thanks Ak :)

OK so five thing Im obsessed with:

1. Food - Love it. Today I asked to leave an hour early if I miss lunch pfff Im still gonna get me some grub during lunch hour!

2. Sleep - I love to sleep, mainly in the day which happens to coincide with the time I work...

3. Clean, bubble gum free carpets - A weird one for me but in my room, my own private space, when I see bits of white stuff on my blue carpet I have to sweep it up! I sweep my room everyday before I go to bed, a necessary pain....maybe I should get floorboards.

4. Reading - I wouldn't say obsessed parse , more like a hobby so it doesnt really count does it? Well! At least it took up a number.

5. Sweets - Hmmm! Especially the jelly ones like the lips they sell in Topshop, hmmm, I think I'll make a little visit there today actually.

So what do i do now?

OK I need to tag 5 other people and they need to tell me 5 things they're obsessed with. I'll have to think about that one and get back.

Ok I've tagged some people (apologies!):

Dentist Down Under

Turning the pages of Life

Lord Matt

Laugh.Relate.Think

The Escape